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22 December 2010 @ 11:19 pm
A random story =^-^=  
The other day.. I got my ears pierced!!! =^-^= FINALLY!! There is a reason why this makes me feel uber-triumphant: ^^

Everyone has fears, right? Most of my life, I've understood that my three main fears are:

1. Dying (recent understanding. I mean, I don't want to just disappear, and when I contemplate this, I get scared. I hope to find out what happens before it happens so that I can determine if I should just live forever or let go..)
2. Ants (Do you really want to hear the story?)
3. Needles (This belief is false: see below)

When I was little, I had to get immunization shots like all of the other kids. But unilke all of the other kids (to my knowledge), just the thought of getting a shot would make me really nauseous, and my vision would start to turn black from the sides. I HATED shots because of this, and thought I was just scared of needles.

When I was little (around 12, I think), I finally convinced my mother to let me get my ears pierced. YAY! I was really excited that I'd finally be able to hang little pretty things from my ears!!! YEAH! We went to the Claire's at the local mall. But when it came my turn, I got really, really dizzy again, anticipating the pain to my body. If I remember right, it was not only dizzy, but I started to go dim at the edges too. When it was all over and my parents were not believing my complaints and making me walk out on my own, I felt so awful that I threw up on the way.. all over a mannequin at JC Penneys. I couldn't help it! And I'd warned them!!

But after all of that, a few months later, I was having problems with my ears hurting every time that I put new earrings in, and bleeding. So I got fed up and let them close up. Ever since then, people think my ears are pierced when they look at me, because the scars from the holes are there, but they were really long-since closed.

Sad. :(

Changing gears, I never actually fainted until I was in 9th grade and we did a blood-typing lab in Honors Biology. To do it, we had to prick our own fingers and squeeze out a drop of blood. Now... I am a girl. Blood doesn't scare me, I mean, I saw it once a month even back then. But pricking my finger? I put the pricker (lol) to my finger and tried to push the button. But I couldn't get up the strength. I tried. And tried. And tried. But nothing. And I started getting dizzy. Eventually I decided to get up and leave the room for some fresh air. But I never made it past the next desk. I have a vague memory of falling and bashing my side on someone's table and the next thing I knew, I was laying on the floor with people all around me. It was embarrassing, and even more so when two years later my best friend told me of a story that her science teacher was telling about a kid who had fainted during blood-typing.

At least she didn't mention my name? XD;;

But anyways, I still thought that the problem was needles. Until I started to get my blood drawn once a month for testing (recently). That doesn't make me faint at all. It doesn't even hurt that much, really. So, I thought that maybe, just maybe, I would be able to finally handle re-piercing my ears! I've been trying to get up the nerve for years, to be honest, but just never made it. But finally, on a random whim I was in Ueno shopping with some friends, when I found a place that offered ear-piercing for much lower than other places! So I figured, since I had friends there to hold my hand, I would do it and be out in a jiff! YAY!

Only, I did get sick. It was pretty bad. I mean, really, really awful. Just like I remember. It barely hurt at all, but the thought of inflicting harm on myself consciously made me really sick. This is where I finally realized that it's not a fear of needles. It's knowing that I was going to make myself hurt that did it. I don't know why this makes me panic so much. Is it because I've been hurt mentally so many times over my life, that causing bodily harm just makes me recede into panic-mode? I wish I knew.

So YAY! Pierced ears! You'd think that's where it stopped. But no. I was still slightly sick when I got home, and crawled into bed with an aching head. But when I woke up refreshed and looked in the mirror, I was in shock. I couldn't be seeing it right-- they had totally messed up on my piercings! One was WAY lower than the other. Noticeably lower. So terribly, terribly lower. It looked awful, like I was sloppy or my head was lopsided!! RAWR!! AFTER ALL THAT!!! X.X!!! I was so angry, not JUST because they had messed up (they had asked me my opinion afterwards, but I was still sick and honestly I remember thinking that they were fine). But also because the piercing place was a 90-minute train ride from my place, which cost about 700 yen one way. So I was out 1,500 yen (about $15 USD) AND basically lost the entire day having to go up there and back. RAWR!!!

I did, though. They explained to me something about their piercing gun not being able to repierce in the old spot on the ear that they'd messed up on. But, the piercing girl said-- She was pretty sure that if she did it by hand with a needle and my new earring (which they took out), then she could force the old hole to open back up. There didn't seem to be much choice, and it was free and I wanted to stop being embarrassed about my ear, so I agreed. And she did. She warned me that it wouldl hurt. And it did, but only barely.

But of course I got really, really sick again. ^^; It's definitely not that I fear pain (I know my period is going to hurt sometimes, for example, but oh well). But it's got to be the idea of incflicting pain on my body on purpose.

At least after it was done, although it was late, I had the feeling of accomplishment. I have to be really careful that they don't get infected, but I am glad that they're done! And afterwards I stopped in Shibuya briefly to pick things up from a friend, and M texted that he was in Shibuya and couldn't find any jackets he liked (long story). What a coincidence!!!! We met up since we were both neaby, and my crappy day turned lovely, as only M can really make me feel. You know it's love then, right? ^^ I want to make him laugh every single day. I would be happy if I could hear that. ^^ ♥

But now I have pierced ears again! In a few weeks, I can start wearing the 8,000 pairs (not really 8,000) of earrings that I own. All of which I bought thinking that I would get my ears pierced soon. YAY! I have some really cute ones! I'm looking forward to them! I still want a tattoo one day, but I think I may never, ever realize that dream. Unless it becomes painless.

In other news, I did go to JUMP Festa last weekend! I got to see Konomi-sensei and most of the old assistants and our old editor, which was great =^-^= M went with me, and in the end, it was such a great, great day. We really have a good time together when we relax. It felt so easy and comfortable. ^^ Afterwards, I went to my friend Patrick's (he wrote the book I recommended recently, the Otaku Encyclopedia) bounenkai (a year-end party that is a bit of a Japanese tradition) and had a lot of fun catching up with friends, and meeting new people. All in all, a good day. ^^

On Sunday (the fated ear-piercing day), I went to see friends in Ueno. Becca, a friend whyo is a former Ex-pat(in!Japan) and now Ex-pat(in!Korea), was in town for just a little while. So a group of us went to get some foods and to attack the karaoke parlor. Fun hijinks ensued and I finally got to spend a little more time with Hannah and Tiffany, which I feel a craving for these days (sorry girls! :D). Hmm.. the next day was my piercing redo (was supposed to work on stuff and writing), the next day I spent with M, and today I went to help out Jenya with something. We had a nice long girl-chat, which was really nice. I think she's one of the few girls who has been through a lot of the things that have been bothering me recently, and she has a lot of great advice. Defintiely want to chat more often!

Which brings me to tonight! I'm really beat, so I think I will go to bed, right after sharing these pictures! I have so many things to do, and it's almost Christmas! OH NO!!! x.x!!! Not ready....



Becca and me at karaoke


Me, William, Hannah, Becca, Tiffany, Eda


Tiffany and me... What happened? ;D


Tiffany conquered the potato!! (this is for you, Emily!)


Going back in time... me and Ryoma at JUMP Festa =D


Mike and Adrian at Patrick's bonenkai. Adrian is like a brother to me. Next to M, my closest guy friend ^^ (Wally, you are too!)


I didn't know there was a Hard Rock Cafe in Ueno! I've never been to a Hard Rock... (and what is up with that spelling? Uyeno?!)


Eda and I got taiyaki (fish-shaped pancakes filled with stuff, a kind of traditional japanese dessert) at Big Echo. They were so cute!! ^^ The light ones were filled with custard cream, and the dark ones with red bean (anko) paste. YUMYUMYUM!! I am starting to understand Eda's love for anko. Ankoooooooooooooo!!


I leave you last with what happens when you think you are taking a picture, but are actually taking a video. You know what I mean! ^^;;;



PS: This SAwkP is SO ME: http://fuckyeahsociallyawkwardpenguin.tumblr.com/post/2386057990
 
 
 
Cynical Kittymoonbeamdancer on December 22nd, 2010 03:37 pm (UTC)
I want to get my ears re pierced as well. I got mine done at 11 and cried when it was done, not due to the pain I think, but the sound of the gun. I've got some very nice dragon claws clutching crystal balls that I'd like to wear. I also want a tattoo, but have no idea what I want, just of where I'd want it (back of my left shoulder) and that took a while to decide.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on December 23rd, 2010 02:11 am (UTC)
Do it!! ^^ I did it, so you can do it too! :D