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20 March 2010 @ 08:24 pm
2/30 Status update  
Status Update: Sore throat replaced with migraines and vomiting. I can't keep anything down! Wish that I knew what was wrong. x.x More rest for me. After I post.

Adele took this picture of me a month or so back. I think I need more pictures like this, because this is me. How I would like to be seen-- crazy and silly, someone who is smart but enjoys life. Not extremely depressed and always searching for that sweet, elusive love that you want with all your heart.

Some people came up with some good questions here: http://www.formspring.me/jamielynnlano
Please ask me some more if you have any! You can do it anonymously, so..

Something interesting.. a few of you guys commented that my last post made me seem more real. Sharing how I felt about love. I thought about those comments for a long time. I really wish that I could seem real (as in, not fake or contrived), but I'm not sure how. It's sometimes hard to talk about sad things.. and I suppose it's not the subject, but the possibility of reproach. There's a level of anonymity online which makes it a tad easier to take criticism, but it can still hurt, even so. So I was thinking.. I'd like to tell a story tomorrow, one involving me and a really harsh online problem that happened before I came to Japan. Is anybody interested in hearing it? It happened on lj, so some of you already known if you remember back far enough..

And I'd like to hear your stories, too. Here. If you'd like to share them. Have you ever been harrassed online, and what did you do about it? I'm really curious, since I think most of us have..
Current Mood: sick
Ai-chansanzo_ai on March 20th, 2010 11:33 am (UTC)
You know what to me it seems like you have either the common flu or a food poisoning. As for the love department can't really help there for I've never had a boyfriend or any kind of a romantic relationship with a guy. Also I tend to block or ignore the person and if that doesn't work I cuss the person out so much they get feed up with it and leave me be.I mostly get some weird person wanting to have dirty cam chats which is sad.
亜莉尊serria on March 20th, 2010 11:58 am (UTC)
I'm interested to hear your stories.

As for me, I think the closest I ever came to being harassed was when I first posted cosplay pictures online (but this was when I was only like thirteen years old). I had a (much older) guy start chatting with me and giving me compliments, and I didn't really have a backbone back then and was just happy to hear people say nice things about me (because irl I was very shy and self-conscious about myself). Then he started saying I was really beautiful and he liked me, and he wanted to get in contact with me. I played it off and refused to tell him any personal information, but for some reason back then I was just terrified to hurt his feelings until this guy was just so blatantly crossing the line - asking me to take "special" pictures for him, etc., and I finally blew up and called him a sick pedophile and told him never to contact me again, and blocked him. I was really upset about the whole thing for awhile, and realized that my meekness could get me into trouble if I didn't do something about it. Also, never give anyone online the benefit of the doubt. Course, that was nearly a decade ago and now it seems so absurd it's almost funny. Kids should really be careful on the Internet, though. :-/
angellusion: Akanishi Jin - Hushangellusion on March 20th, 2010 12:06 pm (UTC)
I would love to hear about your story, if you don't mind that is.

Personally, I have been harassed online a couple of times. One involved some racism on a forum, which I reported to the admin straight away and the user was banned permanently.

The other incident (which sticks in my mind more) happened via MSN. In a sense, this was online and kinda IRL as the girl was someone from my high school at the time. I didn't realize it was her at first though - she added me on MSN and started abusing me, calling me things like fat and ugly, then going further to say the guy I crushed on at that time would never like me nor look at me because I was so ugly. She also accused me of using my friend (who is now my best friend) because she bought me a pair of rocking-horse shoes as a present. I was really rattled out at first and blocked her, then called the said friend she said I was using and told her about it. I also had help from a guy friend of mine who I was talking to while it happened. He added her on MSN and found out her identity. When I saw at school the next day she wouldn't even look me in the eye. She knew she had been found out. To me, that was one of the worst things that could have happened since I considered her to be a friend, and then she went and pulled something like that. =/
超ちゃ人: Akihabara @ Deep: CRAZY!!chochajin on March 20th, 2010 12:32 pm (UTC)
I love that photo, too! It's awesome!!

Still not feeling better? :/
Was reading your Twitter as well. How about going to a hospital and do a thorough check?
Hope you get well soon *hugs*
V: Rufusgalyndean on March 20th, 2010 12:38 pm (UTC)
I had an internet stalker who somehow started finding out things about me after they were gone from the place that I knew them from. So they were still there, but no one knew who they were. I ended up being very vocal about going to the police about it and they stopped contacting me.

It's sort of amusing now, but at the time it was quite scary.

I think that's about the only thing online that I would consider harassment.
Stella: Dork!Ted is CUTE <3apathymoon on March 20th, 2010 12:48 pm (UTC)
Crazy and silly. ♥ that's what I am in RL. (n_n)
oh, I hope you'll get well soon, Jamie-san~!! <3 *hugs*
eh, cyberspace bullying? I've been a victim of it twice.. There are some people who take advantage of posting a comment anonymously. Those people are the epitome of cowardice for me.
calliopem_eratocalliopem_erato on March 20th, 2010 01:04 pm (UTC)
There were a few instances of being harassed online that happened to me. One was in LJ that happened a year or so ago, which was unexpected since I was just comforting an online friend and there is this person suddenly saying I attacked her.

Then another on a separate blog that I got anonymous comments on because I posted an email that was forwarded to me about racism, which turned out to be a false one. It hurt at first but not any more. And since I rarely visited that blog I didn't realize that same anonymous commentator made a comment again and I just ignored it.

The more recent one was when I added someone in my Yahoo! Messenger and it turned out to be some girl saying she's horny and stuff. And she thought I was a guy and still chatted with me even if I said I wasn't. Sheesh.

I deleted her id and changed my IM settings.

P.S. A flu then a migraine. Get well soon. I got a migraine yesterday too and one of my colleagues eyed me in shock when I said I normally take six tablets of painkillers. I took two tablets of painkillers yesterday and was tempted to take a third one but I don't want to scare my colleague any further.
Chloegracefulstars on March 20th, 2010 01:10 pm (UTC)
I would love to hear your story as well!

About 6 years ago when my journal was still mostly public, there was this guy that used to be a friend who began harassing me through comments. He made a username that no one knew about to do this but my friends and I eventually figured out it was him. He then got a bunch of people (I still don't know who.. maybe they were all him..?) to ALSO post really terrible comments on my entries. And to go even further, he made another journal called "gracefulpancake" where he took my entries, copied them and then edited them to make me sound really egotistic and stupid.

I was 16 at the time so this was extremely hurtful to me because I was so young and also going through a really rough time with being rejected by someone I liked.

People can just be really stupid....

I would also love it if you wrote more about your personal feelings and hardships you're going through. I don't know if "more real" is the exact term, but it would definitely seem more personal :) I had once looked at your reaaaally old entries to find out how you got started in Japan and everything (my sister wants to do exactly what you're doing) and noticed that you did write much more personal entries then. I miss those! :)

Good luck with everything! And I hope you feel better soon! :)
Queza De Santidsanti_queza on March 20th, 2010 01:55 pm (UTC)
Hi! :) I don't think I've ever commented on your blog before, though I do read your entries. :)

With regards to your posting entries that would make you more "real", I think the previous comment has it right. Even with your other entries, you're still "real", but entries on issues you're going through would make this journal a bit more "personal". :) I, for one, enjoy both kinds of entries by you. :)

As a fan of anime/manga and culture in general, I always find amazing and entertaining the descriptions and pictures you post about life in Tokyo. And, your stories about your life and problems help me get to know you a bit more. :) So, either way, I like reading your entries, whatever kind they may be. :)

As for the internet harassment, nothing really comes to mind at the moment, so I suppose I haven't been too scarred yet... hopefully ever. I wouldn't want that for anyone. :(

Lastly, I really hope you feel better soon! :( Take care! <3


P.S. Hey, you're exactly 10 years older than me! XD Sorry, just noticed it on your "About Me" section. I was born 1990. XP
Muriel Ithilnorfaeriemuriel on March 20th, 2010 02:20 pm (UTC)
I'd like to hear the story. It always helps to get stuff out, y'know?

There was one incident where my boyfriend and my best friend got into a very loud fight, in front of a lot of people. Both of them thought the other one was at fault, but really both of them were wrong. But someone who was a mutual friend to both me and my best friend--but was closer to my best friend--somehow decided I was at fault when I made a post about it being a stressful situation that could've been handled better. She suddenly because some ravenous beast with loyalty as her inner goal, and made hurtful comments on my livejournal, on other peoples' journals, and told folks in real life how I was a terrible friend and how could I put my best friend through something like that? That I should grow up and all kinds of things.

Now, I like to consider myself someone who lets a lot of things slide--I actually let that slide after the best friend told her off and tried to let as many people as possible know that she was wrong, I wasn't involved. But there's still a bunch of people who don't talk to me the same way, people who weren't even aware of the incident. It sucks, but the issue itself was resolved. I just make new friends if the ones who respond to hear-say make me uncomfortable.

Sorry so long. x.x I know you'll get a million of these.
Miki: lip ringkitzune on March 20th, 2010 03:25 pm (UTC)
I hope you don't mind, I'm going to friend your lj. If it's a problem, just let me know and I'll unfriend you. :) You seem to have an interesting blog and I'm always looking for new people who post on a regular basis.

Cherry: リョーマ ♦ Ha?cherri_oro on March 20th, 2010 03:51 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I've been harassed online too. On formspring, since you can ask 'questions' anon, people use that as a chance to give you negative comments.

Some of them can get pretty bad, but most of the time, they're just uncreative one-liners that are eye-roll-worthy. I think I get more insulted by the fact that they didn't put more creativity into the insults than the fact that they're insulting me. XD

I'd be interested in hearing your stories. <3 Of course, if you feel like telling it. ^^
kittykat_chankittykat_chan on March 20th, 2010 03:57 pm (UTC)
Isn't it grand that the weather is getting warmer and you end up sick and can't really appreciate the nicer weather.

Just remember to keep yourself hydrated. Especially if your vomiting... my brother-in-law had ended up in the hospital when he got too dehydrated but my sister was ok since she kept her fluid intake constant despite her constant diarrhea and vomiting. She was told by her doctor to try a bit of cola or ginger ale to help her vomiting and diarrhea. Or try some tea... chamomile or peppermint tea might help.

Hope you get well soon.
orechibisama: liam blehhhgorechibisama on March 20th, 2010 04:29 pm (UTC)
Harassing online? Oh, You get that A LOT when you prefer FCxCanon and Het in a Yaoi dominated fandom like Prince of Tennis. I usually ignore it. Or, if I know I'm right, I argue back. lolol

I'm usually the one causing drama now though, but that's because, I'm trying reform the OC making process to help improve the newbies into PoT to make better more well-rounded OCs rather than make Marysues. @__@ But it's not like i go up and say lol your ocs suck you fail etc etc i offer help. most people will accept the help. others won't.

then I'm also harassing this guy pretending to be a tenimyu actor, he's pissing me off. His english is toooooooo perfect for 16 yo and his Japanese....frankly sucks and looks like google translator did it =/. I can't believe people actually believe it's him. he blocked me on facebook and then told his buddies. =/
ne_zhaley on March 20th, 2010 06:04 pm (UTC)
Oh, online harassment~ How you never seem to go away. I'v been harassed by men who have asked me out because, as I always say, I'm a female knight looking for her Princess. (Yes xD Im a lesbian~) and dumb men never seem to learn T___T. I just tell them im not interested because I honestly have no interest in men, but boy do they blow up after that lol

:3 I love reading your journal. I just sit here and think about how amazing it must be to live in Japan. The only way I could ever make it over there would to be in college for a year before and become an international student. Which I haven't decided what I want to do, or where I wanna go to school. Plus being broke lmao (Im actually on an intership in Disney World though~)

I hope you feel better honey >: Iv been sick for about 3 weeks now. (bronchitis >.<) We need to get better! ♥

Mimix_mimioreo on March 20th, 2010 06:38 pm (UTC)
Very cute (:
I'd love to hear your story, because as I've been reading your LJ about your work, adventures, and places you have gone, I haven't really gotten to hear about your personal-personal life (althought that was probably your intention. this IS online afterall) But yes, I'm interested if you're going to post! (:

I've never been harrassed online, probably just because my blog isn't well known and facebook is all my real life friends, so I don't really have a story to share...
Reiquentin_watson on March 20th, 2010 07:04 pm (UTC)
I'd like to hear your story as well.
arthurfrdentarthurfrdent on March 20th, 2010 07:16 pm (UTC)
I'll be over here in the chorus thinking that what we mean about real, is more about seeing a whole person than contrivance. When you follow somebody far away, out of curiosity, you tend to only see the merest fraction of them. So, when they display another side, a vulnerability, it balances your perception about them. The more balanced perception make you seem more "real".

Sorry you are dealing with the bad effects of something... I'd bet food poisoning too. At which point, getting it out of your body is the only way, no matter how miserable. Seems like you took something to make it better, yeah?
Sad that there is no-one there who can take care of you. That sucks. I had my first migraine in several years last week, and couldn't decide if I was more miserable with the pain, or that there was no-one in many years who would be interested in taking care of me. It's the idea of it that's the worst, I'm an adult I don't NEED to be taken care of, it'd just be nice to know it was an option.

So, hope you feel better, and that good vibes will do.

No online harassment, but then I have 25 friends online vs. your thousands. Still, I have another friend in Japan who keeps her journals friends only, so that she doesn't have to put up with anybody anonymous. Like your other website that got hacked, the online personae is a target, being a pretty woman is also a target, and I wish you well with that. Who would target an old curmudgeon like me? I would just nuke my sites and go offline. My friends know how to find me. Because of all the different things you do, your online presence is more important to you.

So... tell us what you will, even the bad stuff. I know there is plenty that you don't really need to share, so don't. You have RL friends there to do that with, and by your descriptions of them, they are like diamonds. ;) It's all good.
Erisabetsuerisabetsu on March 20th, 2010 11:22 pm (UTC)
I hope you will get well soon :)
As for the love department just be optimistic and don't loose your courage, love comes when it is least expected.

I would like to read your story.
I am afraid on the harrased part...I don't know anything about it... But if someone is harassing you...it means that he/she is a sad person with no life or friends..
momiji redmomiji_red on March 20th, 2010 11:56 pm (UTC)
From my experience of living abroad, people read about all the fun you're having, but then they read about the not-so-fun things, or just the things that would happen in "every day life" and that makes this "dream" that we're reading about seems much more real.
Elvy: Home-Cooked Mealssefchik on March 21st, 2010 06:17 am (UTC)
I hope you feel better sweetheart! Whenever you're ready to go over some plot-work for your "debut" lemme know. I've got time to kill at this point and I'm bored senseless. Perhaps helping you out might get me motivated to get back to work on Above & Below. <3
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on March 21st, 2010 01:54 pm (UTC)
Yay! I finally reinstalled MSN messenger and so I'll make sure to get on it tomorrow for you ^^
Terrytetsushin_agito on March 21st, 2010 06:55 am (UTC)
I built a store two blocks from that station...

Hope you feel better soon. If you are being harassed online, just ignore them and block them. If they show up at your doorstep...call the police...
Vickytoldtojoinlj on March 21st, 2010 11:59 pm (UTC)
I've avoided internet drama by either blocking or reporting those who've tried to start some with me or just not getting involved. I don't have patience for people who act cowardly by being "big and bad" over da interwebz towards me. I've been harassed by so-called men who were rejected by me, thus their reaction was to attempt to put me down. Oh yeah, how hurt I was obviously going to feel. LoL. Didn't matter. I reported them and life went on.