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04 January 2010 @ 11:50 am

Happy New Year!

Well, this is a little bit late, isn't it! To be honest though, I have been busy drawing, sleeping (I think I have a cold), and in general reflecting on what 2009 was like. Like for most of my friends, 2009 was a really, really hard year for me. Mainly because yet again, I fell deeply for someone who, in the end, turned out only to be nice (and world-stoppingly hot) on the surface. But if you use people (and I heard a lot of rumors) and only treat them nice when you want something from them, then all of the beauty in the world isn't going to help you. And maybe it was stupid of me to fall for him, but when someone that pretty (think of pretty much your ideal vision of a lover, that's how it was for me) lays on the compliments and showers you with attention, it's not easy to resist. I should have known better, and reading through some of his emails later I can see it a lot more objectively, sure, that he wasn't going to last beyond a flicker of a moment, but I'm a romanticist, and a dreamer at heart, and showering me with pretty words (coming from those lips, my god..) is exactly the way to suck me in. How could I not have fallen?

Well, at least he was not a good kisser (or etc, really).. and I'm sure that he's had tons of practice.

I don't know.. anyways, I was caught up in thinking about that all year, and it made living, much less going to work (I met him through a work party) hard. But I do have a history of falling for people who just don't work out. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever really find someone with whom it will not only be mutual love, but also intense attraction. It's always just one or the other. In a roundabout way, I kind of identified with Hachi (from the manga Nana) this year. It's not the same, but I sympathize with what she is going through..

Well, turning over a new leaf is what a new year is all about, right??? Until that person walks back into my life (I'm sure I'll run into him again), I resolve not to think about him, and instead open up for someone way better! I have spent way too much time being depressed and waiting for his contact. Maybe I've even already met that new love, who knows? I certainly do have a lot of really nice friends, so that is a start.. and I don't care if it's a boy or girl, as long as the relationship is full of passion.

Passion. Passion, passion passion! That is what 2010 is going to be about for me! Passion in love (I hope!), work (YES!), life, and everything else!

To be honest, I'm glad that I finally said something online about what was getting me down this year. I certainly deserve better treatment, and I definitely want to be happy, so I resolve not to let anything get to me like that! This is my life and my hopes and dreams, my goals, my sacrifices, my gains, my choices! I choose not to let the way that anyone treats me get me so upset, ever again. (yet I'm starting to cry as I type this, even..) Well, it's not like I don't have feelings.. but I will just have to learn to roll with the punches a little more smoothly, I guess..

Well, I guess that I'd like to start out the new year by making some resolutions!

☆ Make a lot of new friends!
★ Bring some close friends to visit me in Japan.
☆ Find at least one love (whether it works out or not!)
★ Buy a new dSLR camera
☆ Make my pro mangaka debut!
★ Start writing a book
☆ Tone up my body so that I feel totally comfortable in a bikini!
★ Get back into Capoeira
☆ Go to Thailand (several reasons, will tell why after I come back!)
★ Skyrocket my japanese level!
☆ Go canyoning (finally!)
★ Post in my lj more (I will!)
I think that's enough! Of course there are a lot of more things that I want to do, but first and foremost I am putting my career on high!

And you? Anyone share some of the same resolutions as me?
 ❀ ☆ ☂mokonekochans on January 4th, 2010 03:04 am (UTC)
: )
My 'resolution' is complicated... I'll be happy when its completed but its not up to me!
I want to work hard on paperwork etc, and get my Fiance to me!
Then marry, of course. But the visa paperwork is my primary goal.
If nothing else happens this year, except me getting him here, I will be ecstatic.

Anyway, I have a couple other small goals:
Re-improve my Japanese- I used to be fairly competent, but after not speaking it in a while, I forgot most of it

Annd get back into dancing! Pretty seriously, hopefully!
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:16 pm (UTC)
Ooooh man, Visas are annoying, aren't they? I hope that it all works out swiftly for you!!

What kind of dancing do you do?
(no subject) - mokonekochans on January 4th, 2010 06:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Peter Gsinetimore on January 4th, 2010 03:13 am (UTC)
My resolutions are kind of simple. I am drawing a couple of self-published comic book series. I want to wrap them both up and start thinking about the next. There's a big meet-up of publishers coming in a few months, and I'm going to stop by and say hi (I don't count that as a resolution because it is beyond my control). Then, maybe work on a new game design.

Oh, and lose some weight. That would be nice.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:20 pm (UTC)
Oh, great resolutions!!

What comics have you been working on? I'd love to check them out!
(no subject) - sinetimore on January 5th, 2010 01:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
On the corner of 4th and Crazy: pixystix crack4thandcrazy on January 4th, 2010 03:57 am (UTC)
Can I ask what you mean by... canyoning?

:D And those sound like great resolutions. I should probably find love this year. Seems like a good year for it probably.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:22 pm (UTC)
It's sliding down a canyon in a lifejacket!! Sounds like a blast!!

>> http://www.canyons.jp/index_E.html
Reiquentin_watson on January 4th, 2010 04:00 am (UTC)
My resolution is simple to type out, but much harder to accomplish: Land a job I love in the animation/arts industry!

And make new friends, as well! I'd love to come visit and meet you in Japan! :)
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:22 pm (UTC)
Good luck!!! I know how hard it can be (that was my major in college)
Becca: Theatre is my lifeumbrellaofdoom on January 4th, 2010 04:00 am (UTC)
It sucks that that was the outcome of everything, but I guess it just goes to show, beauty is only skin deep. I'm sure you'll find someone who can keep up with you in every way possible one day. :)

My goals are really... fluid sounding, I guess. I don't know what it'll take for me to achieve it, but I want to make myself into the kind of person who can live in Japan and stay healthy. I left Japan on a sour note, with a lot of unresolved issues. So before I come back, I have a lot of questions to answer, and a lot of things to work on. I don't want to return, just to feel like I did before. I want to be the type of person who can let herself talk to others, to try her Japanese with strangers, and not let herself think that other people are obviously too good for her. 2009 brought me down to the foundations, I think, and 2010 will be when I rebuild. ^_^

Good luck with your goals this year! By the way, I never did find out when I was in Japan - what exactly are you suppose to do with those arrows? I had one, but never knew what it was suppose to be for. I'm sure I cursed my year by mistreating it or something. XD
キモさ満々♡ 미친 외국인dilettantka on January 4th, 2010 09:54 am (UTC)
Just butting in to say that I like your resolutions :) Getting perspective on yourself in terms of being able to say "this is something I can do well" or "this is something I struggle with - and this is why" is one of the hardest things to do but will serve you really well if you can do it. You in the general sense of you... I'm not good at this myself XD
(no subject) - hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - umbrellaofdoom on January 4th, 2010 03:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Jade: redheadhisuiai on January 4th, 2010 04:08 am (UTC)
I hope 2010 is better for you~<3

Ah, my resolutions are to stay motivated, continue learning languages, and getting over my people-phobia~ XD;;

Good luck with your resolutions~<3 We're all cheering for you :)
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:25 pm (UTC)
I hope so too.. thank you!

People-phobia is something hard to get over... To be honest, I used to be really, REALLY shy. So shy that talking to a stranger over the phone made me cry a few times. It was hard to get over (sometimes I still get really shy), but I am so glad that I worked hard at it! What really helped was working in a customer service job (in my case, at Toys R Us).. maybe it would help you too!
(no subject) - hisuiai on January 4th, 2010 09:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:28 pm (UTC)
I think I really knew from the beginning. And some of my actor friends (that weren't related to Tenimyu in any way) told me that he had a reputation for playing around. I should have listened to them, but really, someone that hot is hard to resist. Oh well. I would rather have someone who isn't hot at all but is 100x nicer.. though it does feel like a loss not to have that eye-candy..

LOL And vague, but you know I'm always cheering you on! Vaguely! =D =D =D
Linstarrbeam on January 4th, 2010 04:19 am (UTC)
you know what kind of resolutions I have! And we must try our best together ♥ !!
I want to travel around Japan more too. Find new places to go. I also want you to help me think of ideas for different photobooks I want to create and sell online! :D
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:30 pm (UTC)
Let's DO IT!!

And Eda and I are looking for a third person (I think 3 is a great number!) to travel with us in Japan..... let's all go together someplace this year!

And sure! I'd love to help you! Maybe we can even work on one together just to test the waters out! A shashin-duo!! But I think we should try for a real book, not just an online one =D I can talk to my friends at Kodansha and see if they are interested once we have something!
(no subject) - starrbeam on January 4th, 2010 01:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - llamachan on January 5th, 2010 05:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
sleep_deprivedyurasama_love on January 4th, 2010 04:24 am (UTC)
Happy New Year!!!
Post in my LJ more is something we share and making new friends.
But my life is very different from yours!
Good luck! I hope this year is good for you!
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Different, but interesting all the same, right!!
arthurfrdent: kermitararthurfrdent on January 4th, 2010 04:31 am (UTC)
well lady, you can't have that great passion without paying a price for it. if he didn't matter to you, you wouldn't feel that height or that depth.

I think if you can look back on it, you will find out just how strong you are... pretty basic you can't have one without the other. You have the positive attitude and that's key, and you are strong and resiliant...
won't be long untill the heart goes doki-doki again ;)

as for resolutions... bah I'm prolly getting to old to care, but yours are fun. Though I'm with you on getting a camera. I guess if I had to say I had a resolution, it'd be that. A photographer without a camera is like a mangaka without a drawing instrument. I make my living outside of photography now, but it is killing my creativity [hence my existance as well] to not have a camera, beyond a cameraphone...

Anywho here's to all of our New Years... look at it this way... you have MANY people who follow your work, [like me]and who have nothing but good thoughts for you. That'll be worth something ;)
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:33 pm (UTC)
Hahaaa..... sometimes I think that my heart will never go doki-doki again....... and it makes me want to cry. But I have to believe that it will!

And thank you!!! ^_______^ I am always happy to hear that there are really people who care. Especially when they don't know me (and therefore have no obligation). It makes me really feel a sense of accomplishment ^^
calliopem_eratocalliopem_erato on January 4th, 2010 04:53 am (UTC)
In all honesty, I'm not a new year's resolution kind of person given that I would never do them anyway...I know so evil of me.

But at this point once I reach the big three-oh by February I would have to define some goals in my life.

My main goal is to know where I'm going in life. Then get a job that works both financially and at the same time I enjoy the work. And since I welcomed the year by getting sick, that was a wake up call for me to take care of my body.

P.S. You're one of the friendliest people I've met in LJ.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:40 pm (UTC)
Awwww, thank you!! It's actually kind of one of my dreams to be able to be friends with everyone in the world... Kind of an impossible-sounding dream, but if I can even get close in some tiny way, I would be happy forever... although damn would my birthday party be crowded!! ^-^;; But anyways, I'm happy if I seem friendly.. very very happy. ^-^

Oh man, we are the same age!! I'm hitting the big 3-0 next year too, and it sure brings things into perspective, doesn't it? It seemed so far away as a kid, but I still feel like I haven't even really started my life. Kind of strange, isn't it?
(no subject) - calliopem_erato on January 4th, 2010 02:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:41 pm (UTC)
Awww, thank you, and I hope so!!
Ariel/Kaori: Masuda-Ninja!!kokoro_no_uta on January 4th, 2010 05:38 am (UTC)
Thailand is BEAUTIFUL. <3 I went there a couple years ago and it was so much fun! If you can go there I highly recommend it! It gets really hot there though so watch out. Air conditioning can't save you as much as other places....I had to go to the hospital for heat stroke...^^;; they have really nice hospitals I'll give them that.....*face palm*

>_> I'd like to firm up my tummy too.....that's for sure...
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 4th, 2010 01:42 pm (UTC)
Let's both do it!!! Then show each other pictures as proof ^^
samararainsamararain on January 4th, 2010 05:41 am (UTC)
2010 is gonna be awesome! it better be if not i want my money back!

i share 6 with you:
*post in lj more (picture wise)
*tone up my body (this flub has got to go)
*write a book (but ill settle for now with one of those
nifty coffee table books)
*Buy a dslr camera
*find a love
*get new friends!
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 6th, 2010 01:28 pm (UTC)
Me too! If 2010 is not awesome, then we're both going to get rich!
(no subject) - samararain on January 6th, 2010 07:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
loki_leeloki_lee on January 4th, 2010 05:42 am (UTC)
Happy new year to you to! I hope that you had a great 2009... let's look forward to 2010! (well, we're already in it, but I'm sure it has more to offer =D)

Resolutions for this year for me are simple, I guess.

Make more friends, keep up with old ones.
Pass year 10 with good grades.
Improve my Japanese.
Cosplay for the first time.
Procrastinate less.
Make use of LJ and my other web obligations.

Oh, and loss some weight XD Good luck for 2010!
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on January 6th, 2010 01:36 pm (UTC)
Thanks, and good luck with you too!!