?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
14 March 2009 @ 03:03 am
流れる…  
時々…
前向き…のは難しいよね(汗)
こうゆう時,
自分の力しか持ってないない
自分の考え方しか判らない
自分の気持ちしか感じられない
でも自分の幸せになって生き続ける道が見つからない…
もう…スゴイ落ち込んでるわ(-.-)
久しぶりね,この私

I cant even voice the amount of stress thats been heaped on me this month. Its unbelievable. Its really overpowering. Its hard to go on when you dont have someone to lean on, you know? All that I can do is make do with what I can. Somehow fight for what I want. Dont let myself get tired and give up. Although giving up is a hell of a lot easier. But to be strong again, I have to repress certain parts of me.. parts that I worked hard to try and bring out again. But being forced into these situations, I have my choices taken away from me. Let me tell you: I hate that. I hate few things as much as that.

SO! I took this picture a few days ago~ there are Sakura-flavored treats being sold literally EVERYWHERE!! I love this flavor! But that makes this a really bad time to be forced to move. As if the rest of the stress wasnt enough (and oh there ARE other huge problems that predate this.. I am barely hanging in here, people), how am I supposed to indulge when I cant even afford a new place to live? Somebody tell me! ToT

Need sakura goodies.. oh yeah, also need a place to LIVE. *cry*

PS: Apparently "nanpa suru" also means "to be shipwrecked." And here I only knew it by the popular usage: "to pick up chicks".. oh Japan(ese)..
 
 
 
Ai-chansanzo_ai on March 13th, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC)

I know that feeling all to well for I might be kicked out of my home by the end of the month and I'll be living in a car which is not fun at all, that is why I need to pass the ASVAB. I've been stressed out to the point that I can't even sleep well. Moving is a pain that I've experienced far to much that is why I can't keep a single real friend or have a relationship. Life was never meant to be easy as we hope it to be we all have to make sacrifices to get to where we want whether we like it or not all we can do is give it all and hope that we can survive it in the end.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on March 13th, 2009 06:26 pm (UTC)
Really? Thats awful to hear!

I hope that we both get through these things and turn out for the better.
(no subject) - sanzo_ai on March 13th, 2009 06:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tolarin on March 14th, 2009 12:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
midnightcity01midnightcity01 on March 13th, 2009 09:22 pm (UTC)
aww *hugs* I hope you're ding okay. Please do your best!

the Sakura blossoms look really prettyful
midnightcity01midnightcity01 on March 13th, 2009 09:22 pm (UTC)
doing* typo tyo tpo >_
(Deleted comment)
Soniaaoi_honoo on March 13th, 2009 10:34 pm (UTC)
That sounds awful. :( All the best to you in the future!

That picture beautiful, btw. :)
bidiabidia on March 13th, 2009 10:52 pm (UTC)
when I tried the discouragement that you tried now, the people told me:will have problems in the life!I thought "it is all right but if I avoided it, it was better"..all had the recipe because they had suffered...you know what I have learned? that you can be alone, without choice and when you go in bed you think that you are desperate, but then the morning is dark less and less, the trees are in flower and you can be gone on another day hoping to find a person to lean on. be strong!!
Wandering Tom: mibuniten on March 14th, 2009 12:26 am (UTC)
http://www.meetup.com/Tokyo-Movie-Meetup/ if you want to meet some people in town/get out and about. Good if you can spare the time/money to go catch a movie. If you pardon me for saying this, but it sounds like you could do with a break.

Also, this might sound a little strange, but I'd happily buy you a beer/beverage of choice somewhere in town with no strings attached. You've been a bit down recently and it's the least I could do.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on March 14th, 2009 02:17 am (UTC)
I dont drink, and I try to avoid places with smoke, but I will totally take you up on that sometime. (tea?) I dont think that I will have a single free day this month, but hopefully next!
(no subject) - niten on March 14th, 2009 02:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - akibare on March 14th, 2009 03:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - niten on March 14th, 2009 04:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - hinoai on March 19th, 2009 01:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
akibareakibare on March 14th, 2009 03:28 am (UTC)
Well, "pick up" nanpa is 軟派 and shipwreck nanpa is 難破 so it's not EXACTLY the same. But here's hoping you have more 軟派, by the sort of people you would love to meet, or doing it yourself :) rather than 難破。

Only tangentially related when I went on my 修学旅行 for high school the song 難破船 by 中森明菜 was hugely popular (yes, I'm dating myself) so it's really nostalgic to me and I listen to it often, although it's a sad song quite frankly.

Hope you find a good apartment soon. I miss sakura flavors stuff, but this does remind me it's getting to be spring and it's time to update my screen background here in the 窓なき独房 to keep up with the season. It's all about raiding flickr.com for me, so many people taking amazing pics. There's gotta be something with schools and parks and cherry blossoms this time of year...

Speaking of sakura flavors it reminds me of Japan having so many unique flavors of junk food, I went to a party a while ago that had some green tea flavored Kit Kat (someone in the community had visited home recently and brought it back) and several people at the party (mostly "fresh off the boat") were all amazed to find out that Kit Kat is originally American. Yeah, but we are long since outstripped in the flavor engineering...


Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on March 19th, 2009 01:36 am (UTC)
LOL It's the exact same in spoken japanese though. =D
BluAyu: Nanabluayu on March 14th, 2009 03:51 am (UTC)
The sakura goodies look so interesting-I've only had rose flavored gelato. <3 It was so much love. The Sakura make me want Matsuri to arrive a lot faster.

Hm, maybe next break you get you should try going to park an try drawing for some inspiration? ^^ It might relax you a little bit?

Anyway, ganbatte ne. I'm cheering for you.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on March 19th, 2009 01:34 am (UTC)
I used to do that a lot when I had the time... I really miss it. ToT Now that the weather is better, I might keep on doing it!
Janelle: MacHall - hugchibi_rei on March 14th, 2009 05:01 am (UTC)
I'm sorry about all your strees D:

I know I'm on the other side of the world, but don't hesitate to chat me up if you need to let out some steam. Sometimes it helps to talk to an unbiased (albeit slightly uninformed) person. *hugs*
buzzing just like neon: AllexHalle3crazyloststar on March 14th, 2009 06:37 am (UTC)
*sends many hugs your way*
Laurencoffeexmilk on March 14th, 2009 07:11 am (UTC)
I'm sorry that things are so stressful for you right now! I know I don't comment much, but I wanted to let you know that it's really inspiring for me to see you always face your challenges with such optimism and determination. It's always uplifting to read your blog, so thank you for moving me to work hard, too! ...that sounded pretty corny, didn't it. =_=;; Sorry about that...

I honestly hope things will take a good turn for you soon. For all your hard work and perseverance, you deserve some easy living and some time down. I really hope things turn out all right!
Chiakichiaki777 on March 14th, 2009 08:28 am (UTC)
That really does suck. Good luck dear.

Oh yeah, I read your comic. Nice job with the random English :P
ore-samathesundaywriter on March 14th, 2009 12:40 pm (UTC)
I thought nanpa suru only meant "to pick up girls" too XD
Aiaiwritingfic on March 14th, 2009 01:31 pm (UTC)
Ganbatte!
Magbabysyusuke on March 14th, 2009 01:56 pm (UTC)
*Hugs* I hope you can settle your problems soon.

Now I'm craving for Sakura food too after seeing your picture. They look really good. If I can get my hands on those Sakura kitkat, I'll try to send to you?
Rachel Krkold on March 14th, 2009 09:21 pm (UTC)
I brought you Reese's peanut butter cups :D

Yesterday I finished my copyhon at 4 pm. ;;_;; Good luck and wish me luck at Haru today!!!!! :D