Log in

No account? Create an account
02 July 2007 @ 10:09 pm
Como te llamas?  
I am still in that really, really reflective mood that's gripped me more strongly than usual the last week or so. Today I've been trying to spend time in silence outside of work (outside the house-- it's humid but it's cool out today so it's actually kind of calming..) and think about things.

I thought a lot about life, what makes me happy, and more than that.. what I want out of life and the like. It's such a complicated matter, how I feel about things. I'm sure that everyone is like that, and everyone's also like me when they put aside their worries and other things for a while, and try to push off the burdens of the world as something more simple than they are (so to speak.). I'm not sure if I'm making sense...but I have to try and be true to myself, even in public sometimes, you know?

You know, I have heard a lot of things in my life about the fountain of youth, or similar things that will help you to live forever, or for a long time. I would guess that most people don't believe in them... But... why not? I really want to hope, really want to believe that there's a way to live forever, to cheat death out of its prize. Because there are so many things that I want to do in this world, and I want to be young and healthy for them all. I want to see where the world will go, have many different amazing professions, and when I'm done with this planet, move on to experience another world. So it occured to me today, that when I'm able, when I'm ready, I'm going to really try and find the solution. Start with searching for the fountain of youth, if it really exists. And if it's out there, I will find it. I'm not sure what I'll do with everlasting life if I had it... Perhaps -- mangaka, photographer, biologist, mathmetician, and finally astronaut? Oh, and archaeology is very interesting, and moreso paleontology. But it seems hard to think about the past when the future's what lies ahead. It's a lot to think about.. (I guess that I should add ghost hunting somewhere in there, possibly..)

Matsumoto and Hitsugaya investigating the mysterious..

My two favorite D.C. girls lounge around chatting. =^-^=

Asuka looks worried, but really.. with a body like that, what can she possibly have to worry about?

Kuroro is the best <3

Kurapica doesn't think so, though..

Orihime is also lounging around. ^^ (Best 100 yen ever spent ^^)
Raynermundist on July 3rd, 2007 04:03 am (UTC)
The question (in my mind) would be what if you were to quest for the fountain of youth and not find it? Would you be happy having made that the focus? Would you be able to look back without regret for the time you spent on that and not other things? I'm not trying to convince you either way. Just throwing out the questions that I know would be in my mind.

I think what works on that level and being true to yourself (as you also mentioned) is a philosophy I came up with after some emotional devastation I had (you know what it was, you helped me recover). That philosophy is: Do what you believe in your heart to be right, because in the end that may be all that you have.

Be happy with who you are (general statement, I'm not saying you aren't). You may not be happy with what you are now (or in the future) but the core of who you are is you. I haven't seen it change in you over the years, you've just become stronger in emanating who you are beyond what people see in your appearance and actions. You've synched up your outer beauty with your inner beauty (not that I'm saying you were attractive before =P). You know what I mean.

Who you are is a strange and unique creature that people don't get because they don't have the power to dream as big as you, or they've tried and given up and now must hurt those like you.

Too sappy? Blah, maybe. I've just been trying to figure out what to do with my life too. Restarting isn't fun, especially when you're alone (on various levels) and don't like that fact. I've got a job I'm happy with, but that's all...for me that just isn't enough. Still, gotta keep moving along I guess. But this isn't about me. =P
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on July 3rd, 2007 01:02 pm (UTC)
It's really hard to say... There's a lot of factors that go into considering whether a fruitless search is time wasted or not..

-On one hand, I feel like I don't have enough time as it is, to do the things that I want to do. But it's more than just a feeling, it's actually truth, there just isn't enough time to learn all of the trades that I want in this lifetime. So searching for nothing = less time to do the rest.
-But on another hand, I love adventure. So is doing this really wasting time, rather than spending limited time on something that I really love and have always wanted to do? (adventuring)
-And I feel like there's no alternative. I can't live forever if something isn't done to figure out how. I don't have the drive to study science or alchemy to figure out something in that venue, so this might be the better way... and maybe someone will find it in the meantime, scientifically-speaking.

I guess in the end I really just feel as if there's no choice. I want to walk on other worlds like in Star Trek, and I feel as if I will never have that opportunity if I don't discover the cure to eternal youth, or something like it. Even if it does happen within the next 80 years, which I'll surely be alive for, if I'm too old to take part, there's no point for me...

Thanks for your other comments. ^^ I think, still, that you're one of the few people that really understand who I am. *hugs* I've been trying to be more outwardly true to myself, and I think that it's really helped me grow as a person, especially the time that I've spent in Japan, which has opened my eyes a lot to the dangers of holding yourself back (within reason of course).

You're not too sappy at all. I think that we've really been feeling the same way. So many things have changed in our lives in the last so many years, and we've been through so much as people, but there are still so many changes that have yet to be wrought. It's amazing, and yet still a little bit scary to think of.

I was thinking earlier today, that maybe you and I should go adventuring sometime, if you're up for it. I want to take a safari in Africa, or hike through the rainforest, for starters. Oh, and seeing the Mayan/Incan ruins also are on the list.
Raynermundist on July 4th, 2007 04:29 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm up for it. Just gotta wait for me to get the time and finances together. I figure if life stays similar to how it is now then such things could become a regular part of my life. I say Mayan/Incan ruins first myself.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on July 4th, 2007 01:03 pm (UTC)
Awesome!! Then I say let's plan for it!! (not as in a set date, but as in within the next few years sometime) I'm already excited. ^^ I want to make travel a regular part of my life too, and learning new things as well.