Log in

No account? Create an account
02 July 2007 @ 10:09 pm
Como te llamas?  
I am still in that really, really reflective mood that's gripped me more strongly than usual the last week or so. Today I've been trying to spend time in silence outside of work (outside the house-- it's humid but it's cool out today so it's actually kind of calming..) and think about things.

I thought a lot about life, what makes me happy, and more than that.. what I want out of life and the like. It's such a complicated matter, how I feel about things. I'm sure that everyone is like that, and everyone's also like me when they put aside their worries and other things for a while, and try to push off the burdens of the world as something more simple than they are (so to speak.). I'm not sure if I'm making sense...but I have to try and be true to myself, even in public sometimes, you know?

You know, I have heard a lot of things in my life about the fountain of youth, or similar things that will help you to live forever, or for a long time. I would guess that most people don't believe in them... But... why not? I really want to hope, really want to believe that there's a way to live forever, to cheat death out of its prize. Because there are so many things that I want to do in this world, and I want to be young and healthy for them all. I want to see where the world will go, have many different amazing professions, and when I'm done with this planet, move on to experience another world. So it occured to me today, that when I'm able, when I'm ready, I'm going to really try and find the solution. Start with searching for the fountain of youth, if it really exists. And if it's out there, I will find it. I'm not sure what I'll do with everlasting life if I had it... Perhaps -- mangaka, photographer, biologist, mathmetician, and finally astronaut? Oh, and archaeology is very interesting, and moreso paleontology. But it seems hard to think about the past when the future's what lies ahead. It's a lot to think about.. (I guess that I should add ghost hunting somewhere in there, possibly..)

Matsumoto and Hitsugaya investigating the mysterious..

My two favorite D.C. girls lounge around chatting. =^-^=

Asuka looks worried, but really.. with a body like that, what can she possibly have to worry about?

Kuroro is the best <3

Kurapica doesn't think so, though..

Orihime is also lounging around. ^^ (Best 100 yen ever spent ^^)
cryduchatcryduchat on July 2nd, 2007 01:53 pm (UTC)
That icon has the awesome!
❮CHIIAE❯chiiae on July 2nd, 2007 02:07 pm (UTC)
I've always wished for a the possibility to see what will become of the world and civilization in the centuries to come...our lives seem too short to ever really experience the world for all that it has to offer.

Oh and btw! Do you happen to have my hitsugaya key thingy still? I'm back in Japan now.

Ah, found any good places in Japan for ghost hunting yet?
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on July 2nd, 2007 09:23 pm (UTC)
I've got it still, yo. ^^ Next time I see you I'll hand it over (but remind me!).
百加☆nitaspitas on July 2nd, 2007 02:35 pm (UTC)
you got that Orihime for 100 yen!? How big is it? (and is she wearing ballet pointe shoes?)
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on July 2nd, 2007 09:24 pm (UTC)
Yep! She's a few inches high, I think. Really, really small, but fairly decent quality for the size. It's a replica of the picture from Jump.
Miyumiyu_princess on July 2nd, 2007 06:47 pm (UTC)
wow about your figures...!
I wish there was a fountain of youth too.
saya_hara on July 2nd, 2007 07:04 pm (UTC)
I like the sketch - but by the use of the camera it looks that the boy's torso is too small. You're good at drawing - hope sometime I'll see something of your manga. greetings ^__^V
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on July 2nd, 2007 09:25 pm (UTC)
Thanks. ^^ But just so you know, I'm not looking for any concrit about any of the artwork unless I specifically say so. It really bothers me when people try to give advice when I haven't asked for it. ^^;
saya_hara on July 3rd, 2007 02:48 pm (UTC)
I'm very sorry and I would like to apologize for my last comment. I don't want to bothers or to criticize you - really! Next time I'll do better because now I know your point of view. I don't understand what "concrit" is because my dictionary can't translate it but I think that I understand what you say ^__^ Hope you are not angry with me - I didn't mean no harm v__v greetings saya
C L O V E R: Coffee addictidyllica on July 2nd, 2007 10:32 pm (UTC)
Perhaps you can find it. ♥ And maybe you can become all of those things in this lifetime or the next. ♥

Lovely pictures too. You are really good with the camera which also reminds me, I need batteries. Ugh.
Raynermundist on July 3rd, 2007 04:03 am (UTC)
The question (in my mind) would be what if you were to quest for the fountain of youth and not find it? Would you be happy having made that the focus? Would you be able to look back without regret for the time you spent on that and not other things? I'm not trying to convince you either way. Just throwing out the questions that I know would be in my mind.

I think what works on that level and being true to yourself (as you also mentioned) is a philosophy I came up with after some emotional devastation I had (you know what it was, you helped me recover). That philosophy is: Do what you believe in your heart to be right, because in the end that may be all that you have.

Be happy with who you are (general statement, I'm not saying you aren't). You may not be happy with what you are now (or in the future) but the core of who you are is you. I haven't seen it change in you over the years, you've just become stronger in emanating who you are beyond what people see in your appearance and actions. You've synched up your outer beauty with your inner beauty (not that I'm saying you were attractive before =P). You know what I mean.

Who you are is a strange and unique creature that people don't get because they don't have the power to dream as big as you, or they've tried and given up and now must hurt those like you.

Too sappy? Blah, maybe. I've just been trying to figure out what to do with my life too. Restarting isn't fun, especially when you're alone (on various levels) and don't like that fact. I've got a job I'm happy with, but that's all...for me that just isn't enough. Still, gotta keep moving along I guess. But this isn't about me. =P
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on July 3rd, 2007 01:02 pm (UTC)
It's really hard to say... There's a lot of factors that go into considering whether a fruitless search is time wasted or not..

-On one hand, I feel like I don't have enough time as it is, to do the things that I want to do. But it's more than just a feeling, it's actually truth, there just isn't enough time to learn all of the trades that I want in this lifetime. So searching for nothing = less time to do the rest.
-But on another hand, I love adventure. So is doing this really wasting time, rather than spending limited time on something that I really love and have always wanted to do? (adventuring)
-And I feel like there's no alternative. I can't live forever if something isn't done to figure out how. I don't have the drive to study science or alchemy to figure out something in that venue, so this might be the better way... and maybe someone will find it in the meantime, scientifically-speaking.

I guess in the end I really just feel as if there's no choice. I want to walk on other worlds like in Star Trek, and I feel as if I will never have that opportunity if I don't discover the cure to eternal youth, or something like it. Even if it does happen within the next 80 years, which I'll surely be alive for, if I'm too old to take part, there's no point for me...

Thanks for your other comments. ^^ I think, still, that you're one of the few people that really understand who I am. *hugs* I've been trying to be more outwardly true to myself, and I think that it's really helped me grow as a person, especially the time that I've spent in Japan, which has opened my eyes a lot to the dangers of holding yourself back (within reason of course).

You're not too sappy at all. I think that we've really been feeling the same way. So many things have changed in our lives in the last so many years, and we've been through so much as people, but there are still so many changes that have yet to be wrought. It's amazing, and yet still a little bit scary to think of.

I was thinking earlier today, that maybe you and I should go adventuring sometime, if you're up for it. I want to take a safari in Africa, or hike through the rainforest, for starters. Oh, and seeing the Mayan/Incan ruins also are on the list.
Raynermundist on July 4th, 2007 04:29 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm up for it. Just gotta wait for me to get the time and finances together. I figure if life stays similar to how it is now then such things could become a regular part of my life. I say Mayan/Incan ruins first myself.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on July 4th, 2007 01:03 pm (UTC)
Awesome!! Then I say let's plan for it!! (not as in a set date, but as in within the next few years sometime) I'm already excited. ^^ I want to make travel a regular part of my life too, and learning new things as well.
(Anonymous) on July 4th, 2007 02:22 pm (UTC)
I think, (at almost 50 wonderfully emotional and exciting years lived), that I will live & enjoy my life for as long as my Higher Power has planned for me, a day at a time. I consider it a gift to be used to the best of my abilities! I may not do anything note worthy, but we all count and sometimes the smallest gestures on our part make a huge difference to someone else. I work through my regrets so I don't waste any more of my precious time on them than necessary. When I die, I think those who loved me will remember me and thus I will live on forever in their memories! I want to be youthful too, but as I age, I find how I have taken care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually affects my abilities big time. I also kinda like aging (akkk.. did I really say that?), because I have a lot more experiences now. Woo Hoo! to the next 50 years!! Mom
gyabooo: [Bleach] Rukia sunsetkucheekybadkuya on July 4th, 2007 07:39 pm (UTC)
Love the Orihime pic, she looks so sweet there. Oh, and here are a couple of icons I made off your Akito pics:

*pinches him again* X3
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on July 4th, 2007 09:47 pm (UTC)
Wow, those are so awesome!! Mind if I actually use them myself? ^^
gyabooo: [Bleach] Rukia sunsetkucheekybadkuya on July 5th, 2007 07:55 am (UTC)
Of course you can use them, have fun with Akito-chan! XD ♥
azusachan: may guilty gear yayazusachan on July 5th, 2007 02:18 am (UTC)
Arty lass indeed
Hi there :3 I stumbled across your journal quite by accident, but found it most intriguing. I'm an Australian, living in Kyoto. I've been trying to find other artists in Japan to take part in a Japan-based circuit of the Artbook Coalition (it's an old concept of circulating a single sketchbook between artists, though this particular project now has a website just to help track the books: http://artbookcoalition.ning.com/ ). Unfortunately because I'm writing this from work, I can't offer you any of my own portfolio to peruse at this point in time, but can do so from home if you'd like. So I suppose my question is... is this the sort of project you'd be interested in participating in at all, or do you know any other artists that would? I'm waiting to start the Japan sketchbook, just don't have anyone else in Japan to send it to yet XD

Goodness, how awfully rude of me to jump straight onto your blog with something so smacking of request. I do apologise ^^; I'm just trying to improve my rather fruitless search for artists in Japan. Please do let me know if you're interested :3 in the meantime, I'll continue to peruse your photos :3
ext_53800 on July 5th, 2007 10:55 am (UTC)
Hi! I came across your blog through your entries about your new cat, and I am glad to hear that things are going well for that sweet kitty. We have a 5-year-old female (spayed) cat and are looking for a new home for her, because she just does not tolerate children and we have two of them now. We brought her from the U.S. four years ago and would do anything to find a loving new home for her. You seem to have such a genuine love for cats that I thought I would humbly ask if you knew of anyone who might be interested in our cat. Thanks much, Jennifer (jokano@gmail.com)