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03 December 2006 @ 12:52 pm
A return to life~  
I can definitely say that I have some really, really great friends. Both here in person, and far away where I can't see them, I really do. Words from a lot of great people that I know have touched me when I've been feeling down. What I really would like you to know, I guess, is that it's not some famous person, or some philosopher or character, it's you my friends that are my heroes. The people who mean the most to me.

You could say that it's definitely my fault, what happened about two weeks ago. It doesn't even feel like it's been that long, but I guess that it was really the first week that passed ever-so-slowly. I've been bombarded with emails, many of whom I ignored (I'm sorry... I did read them, but replying has been difficult...), but it took about a week for me to sort out my thoughts and come to any kind of a realization about myself. I can't nor do I want to talk about what happened, but there is a friend involved that it will take a long time to get back to normal. But I do believe that eventually, things will be alright again. Other friends though, I feel closer to than ever, and this last week (week 2), I took plenty of time to take things slowly. I returned to work (though I didn't want to...) and spent a lot of time split between being quiet and thinking of my own emotions, and spending time with friends who care.

I won't say that I feel perfectly great now..... but, I feel a lot like myself. I'm mostly over what happened, though there is a lingering strong concern about things that probably won't go away soon... but otherwise, I've bounced back to myself for the most part. Maybe 82% myself, I guess I would say? I'm cheerful most of the time now, though it's very easy to remind me of other things and bring my mood down. I guess I'm feeling very fragile, but on the outside of the eggshell is me.. it makes sense to me, at least, and I hope it does to other people..........

One thing that I thought about a lot while I was "yukkuri"ing my life down (slowing), is that actually in some ways I feel lonely. That's why there are days when I just can't sit in my apartment without the TV on (and it has to be english-language programs). Not even movies, it's got to be tv shows and the like. It's because with that on, it feels like there is someone home with me, but it's not someone who has to talk to me and disturb what I'm doing. There just should be someone there. I actually don't watch a lot of stuff, I mostly leave it on and listen to it and occasionally look at it, but I'll leave one or two shows on all day if I'm home all of the time. It's interesting..... sometimes, I listen to music (like now), but only when I need to really think or am really absorbed in something creative (writing or drawing). Even if I read, I need something else in the room to make noise. (By the way, stuff I watched this week.... Feel free to talk to me about these shows if you like them too, anytime. I really love them and don't usually have anyone to talk to about them)

So.... I'm not sure what else to say. I want to talk about the holidays, but right now, I'm going to be quiet and take a long bath. Need to take some time to myself again, today.... back to work tomorrow but soon it'll be Christmas break, which I'm really looking forward to☆ Ah, and new blog layout for winter, what do you think? I think I'll change it seasonally from now on.

And these are some pictures that I wanted to post...
The day before the accident, I went out with Hwen and some other friends. It was snowing that day (Tokyo is SO COLD!! Anyone who says otherwise is a LIAR) and we went to an animation at Adrian's school in Akihabara. Completely randomly literally ran into A-chan at the station, lol... It happens so often, I really do believe that Tokyo is a lot smaller city than it seems!

My lovely photography skills:

Only in Japan would all of the bestselling ties be PINK.

I went to the movies with Jun on Friday and this was in the central plaza shopping area. I loved it, so I had to take a picture.

Last night went with Eda and Erin to try a new Mexican food place where the food was half off between 5 and 7. I just love the drawings on the wall!!

And passing by an eatery last night... oh man, they have some really interesting choices, I want to try them out!
Green potato curry sandwich, currant&earl gray tea muffins, etc...

Well..... I am really moving on with my life. I will repair the friendship that was involved in what happened, and eventually things will be lovely again. Here's to always hoping for the best, and on making sure that this holiday season is a great, beautiful one. ^^

PS: I saw "The Devil Wear Prada" in the theater, and I really want to get Anne  Hathaway's haircut. Do you think it would look good on me? So chic..! Jun thinks that I already look a lot like her..... hmmmm..... (though I can't afford couture of course, nor is all of it any good... oh man, and I think that Japanese fashion is bad? Not even comparable!)

Planning some short trips this holiday season, and some for right after March when my contract ends. Gonna expand my horizons by visiting great places that I've never been to (cheapest ones first ^^).

My Switch wo Osu Toki dvd came yesterday, and I still haven't watched it... same with Rokkaku myu which I've had ever since the day the bad thing happened.... I need to watch them, but my japanese has been suffering really badly..

So, here is to the me that is more in touch with me, and more attentive to what my conscience/emotions are telling me. Here is to the dawn, where the twilight made me really think about a lot of things about me and what I wasn't doing for myself. Here is to the dawn of treating the important things as important as they should be.

And I thank all of you. Thank you for taking the time to comment on my journal when I was having a really hard time, and for taking the time to write me/ call me/ email me if you knew how to. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ♥♥
Francesca {フランチェスカ}fantasy2004 on December 3rd, 2006 04:52 am (UTC)
Welcome back, I like the pictures, your a super at taking pictures. I love the new layout it's really pretty.
I also watch Heroes, what do you think about the series? It seems interesting and I'm so curious about what going to happen. Are you up-to-date with the series, I don't remember what ep# was last monday.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on December 3rd, 2006 04:59 am (UTC)
I'm up-to-date. ^^ I couldn't wait for this week's episode, because I didn't like the week before's at all (no Hiro = boring!). I really love the series, I think that it's one of the best series to come along in years!! Definitely best new drama, hands down! ^^

But I really, really hate Jessica. She's so boring and it's not even a superpower really... x.x And there should be more Hiro, but it's not as fun when he gets better with english. ;_;
Francesca {フランチェスカ}fantasy2004 on December 3rd, 2006 05:53 am (UTC)
Hiro is the best, I tease every one at my house cause it close to monday, by say his name, the usually repeat cause it takes soooooooo long for mondays to come. The part that I didn't like much was the girl he just met end up dying on the first day T_T, that was way to fast, I was kinda liking the part of him having a girlfirend it was cute. I kinda of knew that he counldn't save her, she was meant to die, she ending up having a tumor anyway.
Syler *sp* scars me. >.>
Jessica is was like a vanging soul that entered Nicole body that what I think. It freak me out when Jessica comes out and starts to rip people out. *eww*
My uncle, my brother and I were having a debate who was the main character; who do you think is the main character.

hehe, I typing way to much.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on December 3rd, 2006 06:07 am (UTC)
Yeah, I was really sad that Hiro's gf had to die! At first I thought that he could save her, but there's nothing that he can do about a brain tumor. ;____; Except, maybe he could have taken her into the future and found a cure? Maybe he should have done that instead, that's what I would have done!!

I don't like Sylar either... x.x He doesn't scare me, but he does confuse me a little bit. I thought that he would have died when Peter fell from the roof while saving the cheerleader (I love the cheerleader!!!! Especially now that she's learned to be a good person). But for some reason he survived..................

I think that Hiro is definitely the main character. The series started out with him, and I think that he's the only character who has a blog? He's the most popular too, I think.....?
Raynermundist on December 3rd, 2006 06:27 am (UTC)
I don't think Hiro has actually ported "with" someone yet has he? I'm guessing he can only bend time/space in a small field around himself and only slightly manipulate the area around a person/thing (move them around).

Why did you believe Sylar would die? The guy was shot and took off no problem. We don't know exactly what his abilities are yet. I think he is some kind of mimic similar to Peter. The difference is that Peter only has the powers when he is in the person's vicinity and Sylar keeps them. I think Sylar has the ability to permanently re-map his brains physical makeup as to mimic another person's powers, the problem is that he needs to see/touch/ingest the person's brain to mimic their powers. Remember, we've also see that he has the potential to freeze people solid. I think he just tends to use the TK a lot as it was his first mimic and highly versatile.

I don't think Hiro is the main character myself. I think Peter is, but I definitely think the two of them are the linchpins of the group.

The psycho blonde is a waste so far IMO. I like her son and ex more ('course part of that is a carry over from Buffy =)).
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on December 3rd, 2006 07:45 am (UTC)
Hiro hasn't ported with someone, but when he stopped time in the train, Peter was conscious through it all, so that suggests that he can do it. He just needs to learn how to do it, and it definitely would have been a good thing for her to be the catalyst. I just protest her death because I love love and she was one of my favorite characters.. I'm such a sucker for cute little blondes, and she was so smart and sweet! ^^ Even if her japanese sounded like a robot was saying it (Hiro's actor should have coached her a little ^^;;)

Actually, I'm kind of hoping that there will turn out to be more to the story than just "Sylar vs. everyone". That's a very traditional comic-book way of doing things, but I'd rather see more than just one villian vs everyone..... and I really wonder how he manages to cause an explosion like what we saw....

Hmm, with Peter's ability, it might hint that he's the main character, but I think that especially in the beginning, Hiro was given the most screentime. He also has the blog.... of course, he's my favorite, so I might be biased also.... I'm always glad when he gets a lot of screentime, though. At least, it seems as though he's a very popular character.

I agree, Jessica/whatever is a total waste of time. Plus, she acts EXACTLY like her character in Legally Blonde, so even after all this time, I can't separate the two. Her son ROCKS, not sure about her ex though because I'm not really into the 'dating a criminal' thing, though I'm curious about how much of what he was arrested for was really his fault. But I didn't know that Buffy had a genius child! I should have watched more of it!!
Raynermundist on December 3rd, 2006 08:52 am (UTC)
Actually I wasn't under the impression that Hiro froze everyone but Peter. I was actually under the impression that Peter mimicked Hiro's power (which future Hiro knew he could/would do), which allowed Hiro to interact with him while everyone else was frozen. Guess we'll find out later.

Well, I doubt it will be Sylar vs everyone. As you saw in the last ep there are others out there who know what they can do, and the "voice" girl originally used her powers for herself. I'm guessing the radiation guy factors into what they're trying to avoid (the nuclear explosion). In the least I'd guess his powers do.

Don't forget that peter also has another ability, which is a psychic connection with his brother.

I just don't like Jessica because her story doesn't really seem to be adding in anything other than the blackmail thing. Hiro's friend is more important than her (well, and he's a connection to her too).

As far as her ex goes he didn't do anything. She did everything. He planned stuff, but she is the one who did it. Oh, and HE is the Buffy factor I was talking about. The actor played Forrest during season 4 (the whiny year), and if you watch Smallville he is also playing a Phantom Zone escapee (a minion of Zod from last season also).
Francesca {フランチェスカ}fantasy2004 on December 3rd, 2006 06:45 am (UTC)
Peter can asorbe other abilities, The cheerleader was close enough so peter was able to use his ability.

Hiro has a Blog? really, omg.
Hiro ability stop him from saving his gf, cause it was for his own benfits.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on December 3rd, 2006 07:37 am (UTC)
Yeah, I knew that's why Peter would survive, but the other guy... confused about him..

Yeah, on the official site somewhere there is a blog for him. For some reason I have a hard time accessing it, but other people talk about it a lot.
Francesca {フランチェスカ}fantasy2004 on December 3rd, 2006 05:54 am (UTC)
with Hiro learning english was a give away, I'll miss the how cute he talks now.