?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
21 January 2003 @ 02:58 am
"like a game of pick up sticks, played by f*in' lunatics"  


Show me Love
by t.A.T.u

This was an accident
Not the kind where sirens sound
Never even noticed
We're suddenly crumbling

Tell me how you've never felt
Delicate or innocent
Do you still have doubts that
Us having faith makes any sense

Tell me nothing ever counts
Lashing out or breaking down
Still somebody loses 'cause
There's no way to turn around

Staring at your photograph
Everything now in the past
Never felt so lonely I
Wish that you could show me love

Show me love, show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
'Til you open the door

Show me love, show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
'Til I'm up off the floor

Show me love, show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
'Til it's inside my porch

Show me love, show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
'Til I'm screaming for more

Random acts of mindlessness
Commonplace occurrences
Chances and surprises
Another state of consciousness

Tell me nothing ever counts
Lashing out or breaking down
Still somebody loses 'cause
There's no way to turn around

Tell me how you've never felt
Delicate or innocent
Do you still have doubts that
Us having faith makes any sense

You play games, I play tricks
Girls and girls, but you're the one
Like a game of pick-up-sticks
Played by fuckin' lunatics

Show me love, show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
'Til you open the door

Show me love, show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
'Til I'm up off the floor

Show me love, show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
'Til it's inside my porch

Show me love, show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
'Til I'm screaming for more

Show me love, show me love
Give me all that I want

Show me love, show me love
Give me all that I want

Show me love, show me love
Giveme all that I want

Show me love, show me love
'till I'm screaming for more


I've felt rather angsty today.. it's amazing, I felt sad and a little lonely, until I started to watch anime. While I was watching it, I didn't feel anything, and as soon as I was done, I felt sad and a little lost again. I never noticed this kind of change before.. is it just because I don't usually do that, and anime is a good distraction for the general feelings of melancholy? It could be.. Or maybe is that part of the reason that I like anime? I don't know, I really don't... I guess it should be something that I should think about, but I don't want to think of anime as an escape like that.. I don't want it to ever be an excuse for ignoring real life. Weird... Especially because I plan for anime to be a part of my whole life and future.

That aside.. I think the melancholy feelings are just because it's that time of the month. I get this way almost every time.. -_-;;; one of my pms signs, I guess.. it comes and goes too.. it doesn't help that it was all stormy out today. I love storms, expecially the gorgeous Phoenix lightning storms.. but rain can sometimes make me feel a little sad.. can't help it, I think that's just human nature.. it's weird that I love it so much, then..

I'm running t.A.T.u. songs on a playlist right now.. at least my favorite 5 songs from the CD. The songs really touch my heart, and I feel sometimes like I can relate. When I feel angsty, or those times when I've been lost.. I've felt the same way that the girls have expressed in the songs. I'm not saying that I'm gay, though I hold to my thought that it doesnt matter whether I'm in love with a girl or a guy.. just that I'm happy and in love. That's all.. So I guess that makes me bisexual. Some of my friends already know that, and Ron pointed it out a while back (though I think now that he was joking? ) In the end.. does it really matter? Why is sexuality such a big deal? I mean, girls loving girls, girls loving bois, bois loving bois.. I don't think that it really should matter anymore. hmm.. There way worse things out there...That makes me think about something else.. Why is it that society sees bisexual people as liking to sleepi around a lot? o-o.. I would definitely consider myself bi, but wanting to sleep around? Hell no! I don't know where this stereotype started from.. and if I like girls, does that mean that I have it out for all my girl friends? Ummm.. no. Nonono.. I like my friendships to stay friendships, thank you very much. ^__^
 
 
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: t.A.T.u. - Show Me Love
 
 
 
alkfhalsidjals: kurapicasan on January 21st, 2003 02:53 am (UTC)
Cheer up Hinoai-san. =)

I've felt the same way that the girls have expressed in the songs.

Okay, I haven't heard songs by t.A.T.u before (at least, I'm sure I haven't), so I might be missing something, but, what's wrong with feeling the same way other people do? Or the same way they have expressed?
And people love their friends, whether or not they are the same gender. It's okay. I love you all! *huggles* ^_^ *ducks*

Oh, and on the HxH topic...
and it's nice to have someone who's against it [yaoi] see it.

I'm against it, and I surely going to see it. Is this a warning? oO
キモさ満々♡ 미친 외국인: oyoydilettantka on January 21st, 2003 05:50 am (UTC)
Bisexuals have a pretty bad reputation in general... lol ^_^ I don't really care what gender somebody is, I just get attracted to both, but BOY have I gotten my head bitten off by some gay women for it. And of course most straight men think women being bi is something they do just to turn *them* on.

Is eppy 62 in the OVA? I STILL NEED THE HxH OVA. *sob* I've only seen the regular series, and I have the Hong Kong bootleg, so the subtitles are horrendous. But I still love it... *sniffle* As for yaoitic scenes, Leo and Kura are soooo doin' it and doin' it and doin' it well... even though Kiru-Kura is an even cuter couple.
Kyo-chankyofujimiya on January 21st, 2003 05:59 am (UTC)
I can relate to how you feel about sexuality. Not to get into an overtly long story, when I told my Mom that I was bisexual, she took that to mean that I was sleeping with or had some sort of romantic involvement with most of my female friends. On top of that, now she won't let them stay over at the house because she's afraid that we're going to be having raunchy bunny sex in the basement. I don't get it...

Anywho, I really want to rp with you at some point, since it seems that your schedule has lightened. Maybe I'll catch you online tonight and we can do some Gravi or YnM. Hope you feel better!
athenazandrite on January 21st, 2003 07:39 am (UTC)
Why do bi's have such a bad reputation? I actually didn't know about the reputation myself. I have a few bi friends though who GIVE themselves that reputation. X_x Horniest buch of friends I have (either that or the most honest about their feelings). I figure it's just those friends personalities not the fact that they're bi. It's just a huge coincidence. Either way, don't think too much about it. Obviously everyone is different so rather than holding to stereotypes do what you feel right doing.

... Now I have to go rewatch that episode because aside from occasional looks and bed sharing I don't remember anything blatantly obvious in that relationship. ^^;; It's been too long. And by the by, I have all my material for my Kurapica outfit! Have not started yet though. Amazing sales over the holiday.
Artabandonedsoul on January 21st, 2003 07:45 am (UTC)
i was actually going to make a fairly intelligent comment, but then I realized I couldnt' get over you spelling it "bois"
takuto_neko on January 21st, 2003 01:21 pm (UTC)
Ehhh my analisis on bisexuality???
I duno why Bi's have a bad rep. I think it's because...well let me put it this way, and no offese to anyone because I wasn't the first to say it, but I know a lot of people who think it. "Being Bisexual has nothing to do with homosexuality...It just meens you'er greedy."

Hmm I duno if it's true? Although a Bisexual freind of mine did conferm it in his case.
I have also heard some I guess more adult type people say that Being Gay is perfectly fine and should be considered normal, it's just another one of your prefrences. although back to the greedy point, being bi and/or find all types of people atractive including pedophilia, necrophilia, and dendrafhilia (don't know if I spell'ed right). Is like taking to much than you should provably have. I guess it's like If someone offers you a piece of cake, but there all all sorts of cake on a table, big ones small ones chocolate and strawberry. the list is almost endless. Instead of taking a few slices and being quite modest about it, you act likes a buffet and get as much as you can untill your stomch is hurting. Not saying that this makes you a slut, it just meens that now there is so much out there twice the amount than tehre was before that it may come to a point you may not even know what you want. You take it becuase it's there not really becuase you may really want it.

I can't say I agree, but from most people thats at least what I get.

Some of my Bisexual friends did it because they thought going out with girls would be far better than dating a male. Although knowing the full nature of humans one must always try to be the dominant one. Anime fans should know what I am talking about you know Seme and Uke. So those who thought they would escape it will come to the sad realization that if you wher never the dominant one to begin with then your partner will assume that role and you are right back to where you began. Watching them date as well I noticed that they had the exact same problems that heterosexual couples had.

Others I know simply became it because all there freinds wher doing it. or They wanted to be soooo diffrent from everyone else they did it just for the attention or shock value of being diffrent. Wich to me is quite sad because no Bisexuality isn't a way of life anymore it's a trend. Just like Punk is now a' day's. No thanks I like My punk with Jello and Dead Kennedy's on the side please.

I know some do it because it adds excitment to there love life. Doing something thats suppose to be Taboo or not the standard norm or society adds a great deal of passion as well as low feelings like angst. Even low feelings like that tend to have pleasure wich even though it may not be emotionaly good, your brain tends to like it. Thats what a manic depresant is. They can be happy and will be on top of the world at time, but being depressed brings them some sort of pleasure and will always sink into it. "If you didn't like it then why are you doing it so much. If it wasn't giving you something then why would you even bother to do it." I dare quote Dr.Phill.

takuto_neko on January 21st, 2003 01:26 pm (UTC)
had to make a second post.
Others may just mistake a good freindship or an admiration with romantic feelings. You can be jelouse of others when it comes to friends and someone taking a friend from you or them spending less time around you because of someone else. Usualy we link Jelousy to Romantic feeling so our brain gets confused and dosen't know if it's more than a freind ship or what. Simply because we tend to link it that way. Admiring a person and wanting to keep with them and by there side may also be thought this way. When it's just an admeration, but then we again try to link it to romantisism. I think (and I hate to use this as an example but I think it's something we have at least seen) In Xena this is what happened. I don't thikn they wher every really Bisexual Xena and Gabriel. I think that Gabriels Admeration twards Xena led her to belive for a moment that she did love her romanticly, and somethings where obviouse in the show. Although at the end it was clear to see that there friendship had grown much deeper than a romantic relation. Perhaps to the point of a soulmate, and soulmates never really have to be romanticly intertwined. They can very from friends, to a twin or anyother thing. I thik a soulmate is made after you go through so many ups and downs you can't help but feel connected to the other person, and I htik it takes more than just a few meetings, if not months or years to determine if a person is truly a soul anything to you. Then again thats just my philosophy.

I don't doubt that there are bisexuals that fall in love with someone of the opposite sex and choose that way of life because of it. Although because of the human brain I think it people try to believe is harder to find these cases in bisexuals than in Homosexual or Heterosexual couples. When in actuallity True Love is just as elusive no matter what.

Ok I'll stop being overly logical now because not everything can be explaned logicaly some things simply are or aren't due to some buhhdist beliefe I very much agree with as well. Oh crap if Karhmas real then I'm screwed for at least 2 lives over. I have spent to much time analizing anything for today, and will now get back to homework... EEKS
~*split personality*~anomay on January 21st, 2003 01:12 pm (UTC)
It's very interesting. Just today, my gender class talks about sexulaity and all that, and how many ppl believe that biology decides one's masculity/feminity. Of course that isn't really the case.