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24 April 2006 @ 10:24 am
昨日...今日も...?いいえ、ダメだ  
Yesterday was one of those days where I got hit HARD. Not physically, but emotionally. I don't want to really talk about it, but the day got worse for me as it went on. How long has it been that I've been going straight genki? I suppose that the fall from that is really steep. Sudden plunge = total GAH.

I couldn't sleep and was up REALLY late. Then I finally crashed around 3:30 or so in the morning... and here I am, I woke up around 9:30. I felt a bit better at first, but I feel that emotional weight sinking in and at the moment I feel almost as bad as I did last night. -_- Gahhhh.... I was crying yesterday, and I haven't cried in a long, loooong time.

I'm going to do something for myself. I don't know what yet, but it's one of those times where I feel like I have to do something that's purely me or I'll get worse. I'm always so "up" that it's devastating when I hit a "down". Genki level is at an all-time low. Because I'm never depressed, I forget what it feels like to lose confidence or faith in yourself.

It's one of those few times where seriously I felt the impact artistically. Which impacts my future. I don't ever have days like this, so it's just..... it's so maddeningly frustrating. I don't know who to turn to to pour out my feelings and get advice that will really work. Really, something triggered some soft spots with me that sting.

さぁ...昨日って...私は塞ぎ込みましていました。それだけ...?
いつもいつも頑張ります。もっともっとその問題を負けられない。普通の元気そう自分になりたい。なります。
.......................................
 
 
Current Mood: flat
 
 
 
Frannie: stitch ~lostfrannie on April 24th, 2006 01:30 am (UTC)
I really hope you find something today that'll make you feel better :\
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Fran ^__^
[hikari]: spongebob ♥x_hikari on April 24th, 2006 01:32 am (UTC)
*BIG HUG* i hate how i can't say anything when anyone is down, i'm always scared of making things worse
when i want to do something that's purely me...i usually have a crazy movie marathon, a bubble bath, lots of chocolate icecream and candy and some excessive running
don't think i was of any help at all but i really hope you cheer up and feel better soon
your friends would worry and i get sad when anyone is sad
smile~♥
hope i didn't say anything that made it worse ;__;
and feel free to kill me if my icon isn't exactly appropriate >_<

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:49 pm (UTC)
Your icon is fine. ^_^ Thank you so much for your comment! I've managed to cheer up a lot today, and I think everyone that commented helped that happen in some way. ♥
-: Danny//Mac Moment <3stringalchemist on April 24th, 2006 01:37 am (UTC)
Nooo, don't cry!! *hugs*

We all have these types of moments, but we can always come back from them. You'll find something that'll make you feel better, definitely~~




Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:50 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I think that everyone needs to cry a little bit when they feel down, though. It's coming back from that cry that makes us appreciate all types of feelings, I think. ^^
ex_whisper13623 on April 24th, 2006 01:39 am (UTC)
*hug* You should make it an onsen day.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:50 pm (UTC)
Ahhh!! Nonono onsen. As much as I like to look at the naked women, I don't like them looking at me! :O

(no subject) - ex_whisper13623 on April 25th, 2006 08:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - hinoai on April 26th, 2006 12:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
Dhieta - D18 is the path I follow.....: YamaP Chuu Nyuuarisuesei on April 24th, 2006 01:40 am (UTC)
*hugs*
YamaPi chuunyuu-ing you. :)
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:50 pm (UTC)
Ahh!! *chus YamaPi back*
tsubon on April 24th, 2006 01:51 am (UTC)
*hugs* Hope you feel better.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:51 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you ^_^ I feel better, thanks to all of you. ^^
バク: TakkiTsuba ( - Fluffy & cutesy married Jshuyuki on April 24th, 2006 02:05 am (UTC)
Feel better soon! ♥
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:51 pm (UTC)
Arigatou ne. ^_^ I do feel a lot better thank you. ^^
r e i: Shizu01rei_desu on April 24th, 2006 02:20 am (UTC)
*big hug*

Please cheer up, and consider it just another one of those crappy moments to get through yah? Take care~!
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:52 pm (UTC)
Yeah.. one of those BIG drops in self-esteem. It happens to the best of us, every so often.. But I pulled through it and I feel a lot better. Thank you so much. ^__^
(Anonymous) on April 24th, 2006 02:29 am (UTC)
日本語でゴメンね。

いつもあなたの書き込みを読んで元気付けられるというか、とても楽しい気分にさせてもらっているので、こんな日ぐらいはお返しになにかしてあげたいんだけれども、ここにコメントするぐらいしかできず、歯がゆいです。新宿の近くには住んでいるんだけれども、いきなり訪ねてこられても怖いだろうし、ねー(笑)。

それにしても、アメリカのみんなも書いてるけど、"hugs"っていいよね。あれはホントに相手から元気をもらえる気がするよ。日本でもハグの習慣がひろまってれば、あなたも落ち込まないで済んだかも知れないのにね。。。

それじゃあ、また楽しいモノが読めるのを期待しつつ、回復を祈っています。
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:56 pm (UTC)
いいえ、日本語で全然大丈夫です!

コメントありがとう。ホントに大事な事している。♥
遂に元気になった。あなたへ、ありがとう。*hug*
Sana-chan: Togethersana_chan on April 24th, 2006 02:31 am (UTC)
*hugs* Hope you feel better soon!!
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you Sana-chan ^_^
kokle on April 24th, 2006 02:42 am (UTC)
I hope you cheer up soon. :) Although I live far away from you I hope you know that I am wishing you well, and I'm sure that goes for everyone else on your friends list ^__^ Let's hope this is just one of those "bad" days and it passes by. I definately want to read your happy posts again :)

With Love, Kokle.

P.S. Crying is a-okay. ;_; Kimeru cries too... A lot XD
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:58 pm (UTC)
Youhave a point there, re Kimeru. ^^

Saaa, it's an ongoing problem with me, what was getting me down. Usually I get by with ignoring it, though it really affected me the other day. But.... like always, the best way is to combat the problem, and I started again working HARD to combat it, and I'm feeling a lot better. ♥
i am a lonely bucket ~:"(emcyclopedia on April 24th, 2006 02:48 am (UTC)
Hiii-chaaaan. Don't worry. Always keep you head above water and you'll be able to breathe. ^___^

That sounded smart. *smacks self*

Love for you.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:58 pm (UTC)
It DID sound smart!! Thank you so much! ^^
Beth/Bethness/Bet: goddamnitalwzcokeacola on April 24th, 2006 02:55 am (UTC)
If I could do an energy transfusion, I'd gladly offer. I reccomend treating yourself to your favorite dessert or chocolate! Or dorky as it is, cute animals.

It's sad to see/read when someone as cheery and energetic as you are feeling down! I just hope you were able to cry it all out and get some more sleep! *tare panda-style glomp/hug*
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 03:59 pm (UTC)
OMG so cute!!!! I didn't say anything the other day, but that picture was one of the only things that made me smile that day. ^_^

I've got most of it out of my system, so thank you so much!! ^_^
Ninisa: rubadubadubnini_sa on April 24th, 2006 02:56 am (UTC)
theres always something that brings us down whenever we're up and theres always something that brings us up when we're down.
ahh sry it sounds so cheesy but what i'm trying to say is i hope you feel genki again soon~ :>
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 04:00 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you ^__^ Though it wasn't anything specific that brought me up, finally my nature took over and I feel a lot better again. ^__^ Because of everyone's comments, I feel much MUCH better now. ^^
美夢: Misha and Sasha_miyuchan_ on April 24th, 2006 03:06 am (UTC)
頑張れ!頑張れ! 頑張れ!>_<
It happens to everyone, really, god knows how many times I feel down even if I'm usually hyper and genki.
But then, you get to experience so many things, and I can assure you, this will pass too, you'll get to feel better soon (I think something particular here too will make you feel already a little better am I right?^_-)
At least you have a lot of friends to rely on...ne?
You always say that if you believe in something with all your heart, that thing will happen, I'm sure that you'll feel better really soon, I know you will, because what you want you always manage to accomplish after all^^
Remember this, because you are the only person I know that can make her dreams come true and let me tell you, it's something amazing.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on April 25th, 2006 04:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you SO much, Miyu!! Your comment really means a lot to me. I think that, of all people, you understand me really well. ^^ Thank you SO much! *hugs*