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11 November 2004 @ 09:14 pm
Draft of a Constitutional Amendment to Defend Biblical Marriage:  
Apparently this is going around in emails, and it was too good not to share:

As certain politicians work diligently to prevent marriage between two people of the same sex, others of us have been busy drafting a Constitutional Amendment codifying all marriages entirely on Biblical principles. After all, God wouldn't want us to "pick and choose" which of the Scriptures we elevate to civil law and which we choose to ignore:

Draft of a Constitutional Amendment to Defend Biblical Marriage:

* Marriage in the United States of America shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.)

* Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife (II Sam5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

* A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

* Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30, 2Cor 6:14)

* Since marriage is for life, neither the US Constitution nor any state law shall permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9-12)

* If a married man dies without children, his brother must marry the widow. If the brother refuses to marry the widow, or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

* In lieu of marriage (if there are no acceptable men to be found), a woman shall get her father drunk and have sex with him. (Gen 19:31-36)



I hope this helps to clarify the finer details of the Government's righteous struggle against the infidels and heathens among us.
 
 
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Asrimalasrimal on November 11th, 2004 04:40 am (UTC)
It's called seperation of church and state. It's not gonna happen.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on November 11th, 2004 04:43 am (UTC)
Funny, cause that's one of the founding principles that our countries was based on, or so I read in history textbooks.

Too bad too, that we seem to have forgotten that.
Asrimalasrimal on November 11th, 2004 04:44 am (UTC)
God, I hate bible thumpers.
buriteri on November 11th, 2004 12:04 pm (UTC)
so agreed
what a bunch of crap that is
Witness Relocation Programstarmonkee on November 11th, 2004 07:22 am (UTC)
hahaha the bible is one hilarious piece of work, eh? Contradiction after contradiction. They really should have read what they were writing. If that book came out today, it sure as hell wouldn't make the bestseller list! Hell, it probably wouldn't have even been published!



Chiakichiaki777 on November 11th, 2004 12:18 pm (UTC)
No, you'd be surprised with what is published these days, some one would find it "Interesting."
DAC, the curious little catboy_dac_ on November 11th, 2004 08:12 am (UTC)
This is great. Not as good as that letter to Dr. Laura(I think that's the name), though.
taishitaishi on November 11th, 2004 09:40 am (UTC)
Hehe
I saw this about a year ago and showed it to a very preachy fundy co-worker of mine.
He was going on about how the old testament does not have any bases for modern Christians.

It's a joke! Laugh you arrogant fucker!
Naive to the Masses: Yukistyanova on November 11th, 2004 09:44 am (UTC)
That was funny as hell, and makes total sense. If they want an amendment, then they have to take all the shit taht is gonna go with it.

Take it and shove it you damn Bible thumpers!!! >.
Dee: Gon Tongue!deedala on November 11th, 2004 10:25 am (UTC)
ROFL....ugh. Funny..and yet depressing all at the same time.
Anyway...I've come to accept the fact that no matter what year it is..no matter whats going on in the world...theres always going to be a type/race/gender of person that society is going to be opressing. It's just always gotta be somebody. Which is depressing in itself...uuhhh, ima stop babbling now.
Miwa Satoshimiwasatoshi on November 11th, 2004 10:38 am (UTC)
You know what's irritating?

A) The New Testament was supposed to replace the Old. The whole idea was that the sacrifice of Jesus created a new covenant with God.

B) Jesus never even talked about homosexuality. All the New Testament discussion of homosexuality was in Paul's epistles. Paul, by the way, was a man who drastically changed the purpose and timbre of the church after the death of Jesus. Don't you think Jesus would've warned his apostles about him?

So, yeah. Not only are the "fundies" completely misinterpreting Jesus, but I think Christianity itself was hijacked within less than a decade of its inception. It's all there in the Bible.

Of course, I have the "heretic" notion that atheism is not a lack of belief, but rather, a belief in the power of humanity's self-determination.

Chiakichiaki777 on November 11th, 2004 12:23 pm (UTC)
Well, if that passes, I'm quite screwed... Hehehe ^_^

Aww well, it's a joke people.
Artabandonedsoul on November 11th, 2004 03:40 pm (UTC)
i want to hump your icon. where's it from?
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on November 11th, 2004 04:19 pm (UTC)
It's just some random yuri pic..
Artabandonedsoul on November 11th, 2004 04:43 pm (UTC)
i like yuri.

I'm bored. How goes life?
long gone with her red shoes onredshoeson on November 11th, 2004 07:57 pm (UTC)
::sees your icon::

Meep.

::melts::