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05 November 2004 @ 10:42 am
 


Here I go again................................. There's a lot to talk about with how I've been feeling. I have an extra couple of minutes before work so here goes.

#1........ I'm bad. I joined an RP as Ryoma, a big one. prince_academy It seems to be dying, but I don't care, because I clicked right away with one of the mods (specifically Kevin-mun).. Now I want to play nightanddayandnightandday!!!! Yum theirlove is just sooo canon!! <3 RPRPRPRP I love it!

*watches maturity level drop like nothing else* XPPP I don't know if I'll have the time to keep up in the RP but I'm going to give it my damndest. It's the only RP that I'm in that's active really, besides Hitokiri Haven, and even that's pretty damn slow. I made a post in the latter that should hopefully help me at least do something other than sleep. XP Even if it's a lame post, some interaction would be nice. ^_^

I started talking to Ami-chan again... It's going to take quite a while before we can work through some residual emotions from that, err, 'falling-out' of sorts so long ago. But I have immense hope. I've also picked the TakuxKyou up with Alsie again, but suddenly my mind (last night) went crazy with KeviRyo... eeps, I feel so bad! Of course we'll need to play again soon Als, though!! ^_^

Oh right, I need to talk about rl stuff.... besides RP. I think one of the large things bothering me is that I WANT to draw. I need to draw. I've been happier the two times that I've drawn in the last week, but now I'm falling back into the same rut. I REALLY want to work on Digital Syntax, because I'm really interested and hyper about it, and I promised Elvy, and I want to work on Chocolate Kiss, for many varied reasons! But I can't.. I sit there and stare at a blank page and am like, not able to do a thing. It frustrates me to no end. I think I may need to start at basics and work my way up again. Yume to Yume is also in my head, because after 123254364753423446878 comments from my coworkers, I really do need to look into making a manga to get published. It probably wouldn't be that one, but it would be good practice I know. I'd like to create a manga about characters that live in America, for teen girls. Kind of like Peach Girl in style, and see whether something like that would be a hit. The japanese are fascinated by America, and I have to wonder if that would do well... it really has a shot if it's done right. Maybe I can talk some of my friends that know Japanese into partnering with me on translation....? I'll put that on the burner for it. Anyways, my art... I must do something about it.

I have no money. Well, very little anyways. It's 10 days to payday and trust me I'm counting them down. My first paycheck was so small. At least I have no plans this Mon-Tues, so I can spend my time relaxing and hopefully not out spending money. (I have about 5000 yen left) Though it does make me lonely not to spend time with friends, I have to admit.

Well, as I wrote in my journal last week, I broke up with Dusty. I might screw myself over in saying this, but I think I'm over it already. ^^;;; I mean, except for the residual feelings, that is. I feel terrible, but I've found myself a lot more settled and independent emotionally again. I feel almost like my old self, which I love. If course, this hasn't stopped me from forming a momentary crush on a friend, but that's normal.. ^^;;; Que sera sera, I'm sure it will fade with time. ^^

Feeling like my old self makes me long a bit for my fun afternoons at Elvy's or Athy's again, though. Those were always the best, company spent among some of the best friends that I've ever made in my life. I really miss you all. I can't wait until Anizona rolls around, so that I can see you again. Don't forget me! <3

Is it bad of me to dredge up weird feelings from the past? I haven't even thought about Brenda in ages now, but while I was at work I had the random thought that even with all their errors (and there are a LOT), my japanese students spell far better than she does. It was quite the random thought, lol. Quite sad, actually.

I'm looking into moving out with one of my coworkers (Winnie), and another NOVA teacher that lives in the same building that she currently does. We all want something cheaper, and closer to work. ^_^ I hope that we can find something good. <3 They're interested in staying in Noborito, which to be honest, makes me a little apprehensive as it seems like the slums (coming out of the Nanbu line station all you can see is Pachinko pachinko pachinko), but it's not so bad, it's a decently sized area, and it's close to work. That beats here. I hope we can find something soon. We're thinking of moving out in December, and if that happens, I need to be careful with my money this coming and next month. *nods* Will do, though.

Oh, and one of my coworkers (who I like but still) kind of upset me. He is gay (lives with his BF here), and they're both from England. I complained about the laws that had been passed in 11 states banning gay marriage, and he said that he didn't care. -_- WhyTF not? I suppose because it doesn't affect him... to me, it outrages me that a supposedly 'free' country would deny people their rights. It makes me upset that women in other countries are degraded also. Argh. Some people only care about themselves!!!!! >=O

That said... want RP... want want want want KeviRyo RP.... Damn, I have to work until 9 tonight and get up at 8am or earlier on Sat. Not feeling so hot either, but only three work days to go until my 'weekend'!
 
 
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Zero7 - Distractions
 
 
 
sugar-spun kisseskagami_mirror on November 4th, 2004 06:45 pm (UTC)
X3 Congratulations on getting Ryoma ^^ (Plays Sanada at prince_academy but he molded several times over ^^;;;)

If you draw manga, can I see it? (<---big fan of your drawing and always squees over it eventhough she will never admit it)

Anyway GANBATTE til pay day ^^
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on November 4th, 2004 07:12 pm (UTC)
Hehee thanks!! Maybe we can play sometime then!! ^_^

I will work on my manga... soon, I hope. I want to. I want to really bad. ^^;;
sugar-spun kisseskagami_mirror on November 4th, 2004 07:37 pm (UTC)
Haha, I doubt it. Unless Ryoma wants to have piles of work and training piled on him. I happen to hold the record of the having the most complains XDDD Just ask the Tachibana-mun X3!!! Sanada is a music teacher and he also heads the Tennis Club and Music Club... Which reminds me that I haven't tortured anyone a lot yet... and I will need to change the regular's positions XD<3

*cracks a whip* WORK! >D *is shot*
Chiakichiaki777 on November 4th, 2004 06:52 pm (UTC)
*hugs* It's okay. Just calm yourself and try to draw while you're trying to not go out and buy stuff with friends. 5000 yen for 10 days won't get you far, I hope you can manage well. 500 yen a day will never support me...
oyamadayoh on November 4th, 2004 08:14 pm (UTC)
got the pass for the ryouma diary. ♥ I'll give it to you next time i see you on.

We'll work on getting you inspired. It's always good to look at other pics too. Or go on walks. I dunno. If I see things outside, sometimes I'm inspired. Or if I look at someone else's drawing I'll wanna draw something similar. ::nodnod::

Good luck with the working and money situation too x.x;;
キモさ満々♡ 미친 외국인: homo ni noruze!dilettantka on November 5th, 2004 05:45 am (UTC)
*snugs* I'm sure Noborito's not a slum! and maybe there's more to do there, right? Izakayas and karaoke and STUFF! But then, I like the skeezier side of Japan, lol.

I so hear you on the money. This is gonna be a horrible ten days o_o;;

My manager came to my branch today for a visit, and I may be transferring schools in February, either to my old school or to another on the Chuo line, either way - a step up AND much closer to where I live, so woot!!!

Just think, on the 15th we can meet up and go play TENNIS. I have to go to Shinagawa in the a.m. but then it should be easy to meet up in Shinjuku. I don't have other plans until 8:30 that night.
Hi-chan (火ちゃん)hinoai on November 5th, 2004 03:20 pm (UTC)
Oooh, a transfer!!! <3

Oh I can't wait until the 15th!! Yaaaaaay for Tennis!! I hope that it doesn't rain!! <3<3 I wanna practice my twist serve!

..well, or just try to hit the ball. Whichever is easiest. ^.~