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27 August 2006 @ 07:41 pm
Reflection.....  
This past week has been a particularily trying time for me. I've had a lot of problems, most of which I don't really want to talk about outside of a select few people. But these problems, this week, were compounded in my life, and one thing led to another which led to another, which caused me to feel really upset. Some friends helped me out a lot by talking me through various hard moments, or listening and offering advice, and I'm touched that I have such great friends. There were some good things that happened here and there this week, and I'll write about them later on, when I feel the ability to. But in order to think about things that were really bothering me, I just kinda shut myself up in my own thoughts in my room for almost a week. It felt... I don't know, but it was definitely something that I think that I benefitted from. I still feel lost, but the thing is.. that I can't change some of the things that have happened, but it doesn't mean that I can't do anything about how I feel. I feel bad, I suppose you could say that my "chi" is down, to an extent, but while it does bother me, it's up to me to make myself feel better. To use a saying that I heard a lot growing up, "shit happens." It's what we do after the shit, how we deal with the rest of our life, that really, truly matters.

I would like to think, introspectively, that I grew as a person for going through hardships. That the things cluttering my thoughts, very real-world problems, will help me become stronger, and more rounded. It's taking those emotions that are hurting me and turning them into something productive, is what I think marks the difference between 'existing' and 'living'.

Whatever I don't know, I can say this for certain: I am me, and whatever happens, I'm going to bring about the most sunshine that I can possibly inflict upon life. To fill my world with happiness-- that means to share it with everyone who touches my life as well-- that is something that I, and everyone, can do.
 
 
Current Mood: introspective
 
 
 
Miyumiyu_princess on August 27th, 2006 11:26 am (UTC)
*hugs*
Lisa M. Luolisaluo on August 27th, 2006 11:27 am (UTC)
Sorry to hear that, Jamie, though not sure what happened.
Nevertheless, you are for you are. Everything will turn out just fine, if you wish. Reflection is helpful sometimes, yet just don't pull yourself in for too long.
Cheer up then. ^^
Gottis: Friendshipgottis_chan on August 27th, 2006 12:10 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Through hardships towards the stars or something, ne, love? *snugs*
shmeebs on August 27th, 2006 12:36 pm (UTC)
I'm impressed that you managed to IMPROVE after being cooped up for a week... well, whatever works, right? Hang in there, hon ♥
(Deleted comment)
xiyu: kenkenxiyu on August 27th, 2006 01:01 pm (UTC)
*huggles* You can do it! ^^
秋微 (マリア)mots_fleuris on August 27th, 2006 01:06 pm (UTC)
Work hard, and good luck. :D You're a good person with the willpower to work towards her dreams. Never let anything hold you down.

I'm just glad that you now that it's good to lean on others for a while. My wishes, for what they're worth, are with you.
Shuu-chan ~ 秀ちゃんsilvanlumiere on August 27th, 2006 01:42 pm (UTC)
Whenever I'm met with an obstacle, I believe in this phrase, 'I am strongest when I am weak.' Granted, things may seem really bad, but believing in it always brought me through... Glad to hear that you've got such great friends around and that you're solving the problems in a positive light =) Ganbatte ne? I'm sure you'll make it through, nothing can defeat you if you believe in yourself! I don't think I'm making sense anymore... But WTH...
Eajoa on August 27th, 2006 02:09 pm (UTC)
It's good to know that you're not giving in. You're a strong person, Jamie. I don't know you that well, but this I can tell anyway. I'm glad you had someone to speak to, and even though it might not be much, I'm always here to talk to. *hugs*
C L O V E Ridyllica on August 27th, 2006 02:45 pm (UTC)
I'm glad that you are not giving up. Never give up Jamie. ♥ Everyone has moments like these that...I don't know how to describe it, but the thing is, its great to have friends that are always there for you.

I hope everything goes well for you. ♥ Fight back! :D Problems will always make you stronger. As Emerson says: "Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
"
Sana-chan: you and mesana_chan on August 27th, 2006 02:56 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm so sorry that you're having a tough time. I wish I could offer advice, but as I can't even get my own act together right now... I don't know if anything I say would help. But always know if you need a someone to listen, that I am always here for you.
Chiakichiaki777 on August 27th, 2006 03:49 pm (UTC)
We all have moments like these I think. *hugs*
Msakuraevolution on August 27th, 2006 04:04 pm (UTC)
Not that I pretend to know the specifics of the events involved but I can say that although this year has been one of the most dehabilitating of my life, it is also the one in which my eyes have become the most open to the world around me. If you can avoid letting them drag you down, I think personal hardships can be great opportunities for personal growth or refinement of our character. That said, it's always nice to have a friend or two to act as a crutch if we need one to get to that point :)
Kei: glompaoi_tenshi on August 27th, 2006 04:09 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I was getting a bit worried because I hadn't seen you post in awhile! I'm sorry that you're having some difficulties right now, but good to know that you're trying to stay positive in the sense that you're growing from whatever that experience is! *hugs* I know that you will end up being a stronger person after this experience though! I Just wish that I could be there for you *snugs*
Mew: Atobe - believegokumew2 on August 27th, 2006 04:09 pm (UTC)
That's the spirit. .^^ Hang in there! *hugs*
(Anonymous) on August 27th, 2006 06:02 pm (UTC)
Hi Jamie, I Love You! You are right, You heard the saying 'shit happens' alot growing up. The other half of that is 'put on the shit mask/body bubble and let it roll off.' You can do it and I'm proud of you! Mom
Junebug: kakera disappointedaimaru on August 27th, 2006 08:43 pm (UTC)
I've gone through... augh. so many hardships. I've gone to the point of breaking down, hiding myself in the closet, suicide attempt, and just points of being incredibly low. And... I'm still here. And I've learned a lot, actually. Sometimes it doesn't seem like it, but I have. In my heart, I know I have.

Life deals you trials... One each coming right after the other... I know how that is. It's awful, and it makes me want to give up. But try dealing with one problem at a time, take a break, and learn from your mistakes.

You're an incredibly STRONG person. i think you'll be okay. Good luck.
BluAyubluayu on August 28th, 2006 12:15 am (UTC)
I've always heard, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I'm not sure if that helps any but you seem like you're already a very strong person. I always hurts me when the most cheerful people are hurt. -hugs- Because then you know it hurts when they're usually very hyperactive.

I have no idea what you're going through and maybe not even be able to understand but if anything you'll pull through. ^_^
『クロス・マリアン』: All I needmorbidxelegance on August 28th, 2006 12:55 am (UTC)
I kind of know what you're going through, and sometimes, all you only need is not to just talk to friends, but to have time to yourself to think about what you need to do instead of having other influence you. In a way, it makes you stronger mentally, giving you the chance to right the chaos in your own mind instead of relying on others to walk you through it. I'm not saying having friends is a bad thing, but sometimes we all need our alone time to sort things out.

I know I'm not one of the really good friends you have, but I consider myself as a friend in a way. I'm willing to listen, as are all of your friends, and also to be a helping hand, if not soothing words.

I know that you are a strong person from just reading your journal posts and I know that this is just an obstacle that life just crapped on your door step. Well, after the mess is cleaned up, it's just going to be something that you can laugh at and you'll learn from it. That's the whole point in life: to enlighten ourselves. We learn from our successes and our mistakes and we learn which to repeat and which never to.

I know you'll pull through because you are a smart and strong-willed person, but just in case, goodluck~!

Much ~♥~, Heather
Yuvi: Hugyuvi on August 28th, 2006 12:56 am (UTC)
I'm sorry things have been going wrong for you and I wish you find a way to get pass it all and come out much better on the other end. It sucks when bad things happen but as you say we grow when we overcome those obstacles and that strength we get is what defind us. The best of luck to you and I am sure you'll be ok. *hugs*
DAC, the curious little catboy_dac_ on August 28th, 2006 05:30 am (UTC)
*hugs*
~Elle~suthrnbellechan on August 28th, 2006 12:18 pm (UTC)
*hugs* i'm sorry to hear you are going through hard times, please if there's anything I can do, even just listening, let me know

And im glad to see that you are trying to stay positive, that's the best thing. Just know I miss ya k? ^^ It was great to get to meet you.